(IMPORTANT: click play before you start reading! This is what I was listening to, when I was writing)
It’s been a while since my last photograph… I used to upload a new one every day.
Something happened when I’ve sold my Fuji-film x100. At first I didn’t want to continue photography anymore but I wasn’t totally sure about it. When I saw someone selling the Pentax camera (which I was considering, before I decided for x100 ) for a really good price, I couldn’t resist and bought it.
The camera was sitting in my desk unit most of the time. A weather was terrible and I was running out of ideas to supply a new photograph every day. At one point I run out of photographs to work with and I got totally depressed. I think I haven’t touched my Pentax K-50 for a month or even longer, I was thinking about selling my gear once again…
I’ve been thinking a lot and I have answered myself few important questions which helped me get out of this slump.
First, I needed to find a subject of my art and a great idea came to my mind. I wanted to get on roofs of tall buildings (block of flats mostly) and take photographs of a city from above. Unfortunately, almost all rooftops are locked and there is no way to get in there without breaking the law… At first, I was willing to go for it anyway… I have started reading about picking the locks, how to open padlocks or pass entryphone which blocks every stairwell. Unluckily, I have also found out that pick locks are illegal in Poland… Possession of an illegal item + breaking in into a secured area, could get me in plenty of a serious trouble… Sigh, another dead-end…
I love this quote so much… I use it the other way around, mostly to deal with my life problems.
As you may have guessed, I have found a compromise 🙂
For years I have been seeing the beauty of the everyday life, places and objects, not sure what to do with it… An invisible link between worlds which has always been pulling me in… How can you explain it to someone? The strange energy of awe that is coming from certain places, moments and things… How can you share them when they are so fragile that every second might be their last… – tgchan
I wrote this shortly after I have got into a fine art photography to describe what my art is about ( I know that many people will only see my photography as some random snapshots, it’s ok… I understand them. It’s hard for me to explain this in words, think alone about showing this in a still image. Most of my old photographs are here as well, I really don’t like them but I have decided to leave them, as they are part of me and my evolution ).
So, why did I mention it? This quote reminded me of my original reason of getting my first camera, to show and share ” …the beauty of the everyday life, places and objects… “. I don’t have marvellous looking seas, oceans, mountains, cityscapes etc around me… but it doesn’t matter, I don’t need them (not anymore). I am fortunate to see things that many people can’t… and there are plenty of them where I live (they are everywhere as matter of fact).
At some point, I have reconciled myself that I will probably never earn any money from what I do. It’s ok, it was never the original reason why I have picked up the camera in the first place… just something that came along the way, a futile hope of me earning the money from something I truly love to do.
Anyway, after I have accepted the earlier mentioned fact, I could focus on my senses even more… I don’t think about what people may like/buy anymore… I only focus on what really feels important to me and me alone (yes, I don’t give a single fuck about you… – can I have a cookie for the honesty ?)
It’s quite easy with items, but how can you show a place the way you experience it in real life? Well the focal length of a 75mm ( Pentax K-50 + SMC Pentax-DA 50mm F1.8 ) which was the only option I had, certainly would have a problem with that. I have decided to invest in a wide, really wide angle lens. I am still not sure how good the photographs will look from it, even though I have taken plenty of them already. See, I don’t check what I have captured right away. I gather my material for some time and then I start to develop it, one photograph after another in the same order I have taken them.
As I have mentioned, I have been gathering material for some time already and I am close to start developing it. For now I have to learn a new software which I want to try out. I don’t interfere much with my photographs and I hate changing/altering them. I just want to make them as close as I can, to what I have seen in real life (contrast, saturation, highlights, shadows etc – basic stuff).
When you look at one of my photographs I want you to see exactly what I have seen at that moment. I don’t add or remove things from the original, this is not my style ( + I hate complicated stuff like photoshop etc ). So, when you look at it, you know it’s REAL.
I can’t stress enough, how much I have enjoyed my recent journeys with the camera… I will try to describe it as good as I can, because I believe it’s an important background information which explains the source of motivation and the subject matter in my photography (especially the recent one).
I don’t have an official job (not anymore) and I have plenty of free time ( I give private tuition in English – for kids mostly, which is the main source of my income. It’s not much but it’s enough since I live in my parents’ house ).
I have chosen really early mornings for my recent photography trips and I couldn’t have picked a better time! I am quite shy person with a low self-esteem and I don’t feel too good around plenty of people, especially with the camera in my hands – which brings attention!
Everyone is busy in the mornings: job, kids, school, meetings, nursery, dog etc, they simply have no time to focus on me 🙂 .
I, on the other hand… I am free like a bird! I love looking at people, see them in a hurry, busy with their duties and obligations. It feels like I am not living in the same reality as they are, it’s magical…
Older people seem to be more like me, they go out with their dogs, take slow strolls for their own pleasure etc.
So, I walk and walk, taking the pleasure with every step I take, looking around, absorbing the amazing energy coming from my freedom. I explore every corner, street, building and everything that surrounds and interest me. The sun shines, birds chirp and soft wind gently stroke me as I stroll through the waking up city… If if you could only walk with me, feel what I feel and see what I see… I am not there… It feels like I am in a dream.
The entryphones which were blocking my way into stairwells are not a problem anymore… People go in and out a lot in the mornings so, I just make my way in with them. I use stairs for my way up and down (10 floors) but sometimes my right knee gives up after walking for hours (my usual trip = 3-5 hours of constant walking + plenty of stairs ) and I am forced to use those old and creepy elevators… So far, I have been 4 or 5 times and every time, I was limping back to my car, barely able to walk with the enormous pain in my knee… and you know what? I can’t wait to go out again!
I used to live in a block of flats / apartment block and I loved it. Now, when I climb on the top floors, once again I can smell what people cook and listen to the ambient sounds, coming from behind the doors… I wish I could live just for a few days in every flat, explore different rooms, sit in a cosy place, relax and enjoy the unique atmosphere in each one of them, look through the windows and see what they see every day…
It’s truly hard to describe it in words, what I feel in certain places, even though it’s very vivid and clear to me. Make sure you read the descriptions of my photographs, as I always try to pour on some of my feelings in short stories, poems or some other odd literary genres… where I share what I see and feel.
New photograph will be uploaded every weekend (on website linked below), starting from now on. Thank you for reading and checking my work, have a nice day!