” Spiky Greens ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

I always knew… I have always known what I want in life… I was sure and confident about it as well… I don’t know what happened, I mean I know… but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it’s true, and I don’t know the way out of it now… I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all… I have triggered the bomb, and I don’t know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known… Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don’t know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well… All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don’t know any more… I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life…

Art Prints

” Four Brothers ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” Four Brothers have finally come together… It has been decades since they have all met. They all came up from the same parents. They all grew up together. Unfortunately, life have divided their lives and spread them across the globe. Busy with their careers, work and other activities, they rarely even had time to talk to each other. All is past now though… They’re together, close, united once again. So much to share, so much to talk about, get up to speed, make up for all those years of not caring. They have missed each other so much… It is so unfortunate that such sad event had to be the reason for their meeting. Their beloved parents… gone, forever and ever echoing in their painfully shattered minds. They are all sitting silently together now, watching the sun going down and down. It’s nice… Everything has been taken care of, everything has been done. They can finally relax, and slowly learn how to let this go… It’s warm and cosy. The sun is still giving so much warmth, even though it’s so low… It’s so warm and cosy… “

Art Prints

” Dragon Skin ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” Dragon Skin… Sometimes I think, the only way to stop life getting to you, is to grow dragon skin… So thick and so robust that even flaming hate and love could not get through it. This, or learn how to channel everything that’s harmful with such precision that nothing can really touch you. The latter is probably a better choice, but it’s much harder to achieve as well. Confusion and inability to understand morphs into hate… The skin starts glowing… No response and lack of caring changes hate into rage. The skin lights up… Past memories start bleeding once again. The skin is almost transparent, ready to burst with all might and fury… By the time everything spills over, you are all alone… there is no one there… not any more. It all disperses like a morning fog… All this building up, tension and accumulation of negativity, all for nothing… Waste of time and energy, pointless. Dragon skin would never let it happen. It’s too tough, way too smart to let such things glide through. Black tendons hold it all tight and secure. Glassy flesh will not let you see. Cold and solid, keeps secrets within its boundaries. You can spot life behind its fortification, bright and live, but you cannot get through… It’s way too scared, too fragile, and too soft to let anyone close again. It somehow wants to connect with you, lonely and hungry for another soul, but poor doesn’t know how to get through the very own wall, it once wanted so much to have around itself. Unfortunately trapped in its own shelter. It will take time, hard work and dedication on both sides, too finally free what has been buried so securely underneath dragon skin. Let’s just hope it will be worth the wait and struggle… “

Art Prints

” The Touch Of A Woman ” by tgchan ( Canon EOS 70D + Canon EF-S 10-18mm f/4.5–5.6 IS STM )

” The Touch of a Woman… They are quite similar to cats, you know? They are both connoisseurs of comfort, but cats… well, they lack ability to create those warm and cosy places on their own. Women on the other hand, they are quite skilful with those things. A quick glance at some place, and you know there was a female presence around. It is really interesting. Women look for males who can give them security, and males look for females who can give them this special cosiness that their mother used to create for them. It all goes in circles. Why am I even surprised with this discovery… Everything in nature works like that. A big fucking wheel of correlation. All nice and tidy, items placed carefully and with a great thought. Colours are not random and everything must go with the rest of the surrounding. It gives me a headache… I like it, but I would never follow all those rules. I know how to create a super cosy place for myself, and I don’t need all this bullshit that this should suit that etc. I like it, I have it. Done. Simple as that. I wouldn’t give up something I like only because it doesn’t go well with the rest of the room or something, fuck that. Going back to the woman’s touch, I truly admire their commitment, and their sense of setting up things the way they do; most of the time anyways There is something special about it, not doubt. Even though, I don’t genuinely know exactly what it is. Must be some kind of womanly magic I guess. I have been trying to capture the beauty of my mother’s bedroom for quite a while now, but only recently, I think I have finally got it. Admire. “

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” I Miss You ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know where you are… I don’t even know how you look like… but I miss you… I miss being with you so much… I know you are out there… somewhere… and I am scared… I am so damn scared that we may never have a chance to meet each other. It’s unsettling… Have we already met? Is life playing with us? I can feel, you might be my key to everything. I miss you… I yearn for you… but I don’t even know if I could really live with you… Maybe this is why we have not met each other… maybe I am just not ready yet. Doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you, and I really miss you. One thing I am certain though… If I am not able to give you what is required for your long term happiness… I would rather never see you. I do not want to be your disappointment. I would rather chase a ghost my entire life, rather than being with you, and knowing that I cannot change your life for the better. My inner self is torn apart… I don’t even know what I want any more. I mean, I know… but I also know that the things I want come at price. Actually no… they may come at certain price with the wrong kind of girl, but theoretically speaking, not with you. This is why I want YOU~!! and no one else. I am tired… it’s late. I have to go sleep. I really can’t wait for our first journey… a long drive, hours of walking and exploring, looking at the beautiful world shining in the sun, a delicate breeze… It can’t be just dreams… it feels too real, too vivid and too close… Good night my love, wherever you are… “

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” I Do Not Know ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know… If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are probably looking at one of my last photographs as well. It came out of nowhere… really. How could I not see this coming… I had a hard time bringing back something worthy from my last journeys. I should have seen that coming. I think a new phone which was a gift from my brother was the final nail in the coffin. The first video I made with it to be precise, was the point when everything has changed. The funny thing is that I have picked up photography in the first place because the idea of filming, storing all those videos and uploading them with my super slow internet… well… let’s just say, it didn’t look too attractive, and I have decided it wasn’t an option for me. Oh, and I couldn’t have sell and present my videos in such a nice way as the photographs. Not that I have sold any or it was my priority, but yea… at that time the dream was big and lucrative. Any way, there were many situation where I wanted to share something with a viewer, but the photographs were too limiting. I was going wider and wider with the choice of my lenses, but it helped me only to a degree. With a moving picture, not constrained to any particular frame, I can show what I love about certain places and things. Nothing really changed though, I still don’t like the idea of storing video files, uploading them with the same slow ass internet, and everything else to be honest… BUT! My last journey was totally dominated by videos… I have taken like 3 or so photographs, and made tens of short video clips which excited me so much. When I felt that great excitement while I was filming, that feeling that I can share everything what I see with a viewer, that was it. I knew this is the place I want to be. There are still many great things to photograph, and ideally I should have two systems with me; one for photographs and the other one for videos. Maybe I will be able to come up with something that will satisfy me in both. I don’t know… I really am up to my ears in filming. I don’t know where it all goes… I just know I love it, and this is my new way of expressing what I love. If you are curious about the new thing, just search for tgchan on youtube and you shall find it/ “

www.youtube.com/user/tgchan

Art Prints

 

” Autumnal Curtain ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” Happy yellow leaves, dancing in the very last, warm autumnal breeze. Embracing with great passion and love, each remaining ray of sunshine. Soon, everything will turn grey, decay and fade away… But not just yet my dear friend~!! It is now, be happy~!! Dance, smile, hug your mates, laugh and cherish the moment, because after all… this is exactly what life should be about. Work, school, problems in general, are only obstacles on your path of being happy. Some people achieve this state quite easily, others must learn it the hard way. It may take years or even decades to finally realise that happiness is truly in your hands. You have the power to recreate it, whenever you want it. All tears and sadness, are there just to remind you that, it doesn’t have to be like that… and also that you shouldn’t settle for an average life. Those leaves know it, they know their power. Jumping in a wind like a bunch of happy springs, rejoicing in this blissful moment. You can find the light in the darkest places of life. You just need to open your eyes wide enough, and truly wish for it. Autumnal Curtain will soon fall down, and then… winter will come. But until that time though, it doesn’t matter… there is only joy. Learn how to separate your mind from the future and the past, and you will become really close to the art of recreating happiness… “

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” Happiness Is The Sun ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Sun… so bright, so warm, so happy… Every time it goes down, I want to chase it, and don’t let it drown in horizon. The moment when it goes behind trees and buildings, I can feel the darkness grabbing my shoulders and pulling me down. Even so far away, it is still one of the most important things in our lives. Everything looks so alive and wonderful when it shines. It is not only the sun though. On its own, it is just a bright hot star. Our world in connection with the nature… Our bad with its good, all mixed up. This is what gives such fascinating spectacle. The sick combination of synthetic and natural world. Our human arrogance embedded in the place we do not deserve. There are so many different kinds of pleasure in life… Admiration for what surrounds us, must be one of the most satisfying one, and it doesn’t cost much. Look around, appreciate what you see, hear, feel and taste. Sun… it certainly can make ordinary places look like they come from a fairy tale, don’t you agree? “

Photography Prints

” Super Cosy Spot ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Not in direct sunlight but in shadows… not in complete darkness though, my sweet spot lies. Somewhere between those two… Somewhere close, so I can see the transition clearly and derive the best of both worlds. Once the light weakens, the shadow grows stronger, slowly devouring and conquering the lands that originally belonged to it. The war will be over soon enough, but the victory is not permanent, nothing ever is… What you take, must be eventually returned. The light still fights strong, bravely pushing darkness back to its black roots. Futile resistance, yet so noble and admirable. I stand there and observe two of the greatest powers duelling for domination, right in front of my eyes… Me, a mere mortal… and even though I know whose turn to win is this time, it’s still magnificent to be a witness of it. Besides, you can never be certain of anything. I can already feel the chills of darkness on my back, but my eyes are focused on warmth of the light in front of me. Beautiful… isn’t it? Now, the best thing is that I can start moving with the darkness, chasing the light and feel the power of the winner. If I choose to… I can step into the light, and start feeling the dread of annihilation, running away in fear. Everything changes… things once so obvious become mysterious. Familiar shapes start becoming unknown and ominous. Uncertainty… is it really the place where happiness dwells? Or is it the moment when you can choose between two things, but you have still not decided, draining positive energy from the both possible realities at the same time? You know you will have to decide what to choose eventually, losing one thing or another as a result of a decision, but you keep stalling the moment, enjoying the freedom of choice. Is it a freedom? Why do I have to choose? Can I choose not to choose? Where am I going with all this…? It doesn’t matter what hides underneath… Just enjoy it. The very same way, I have enjoyed being at my super cosy spot for that brief moment. “

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” Good Afternoon Mr Tree ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Good afternoon to you too, Mr Tree. How are you doing on this fine day? Good to hear, sir… good to hear. Oh, me? I am just fine, thank you. It is such a wonderful weather today, isn’t it? Yes, I completely agree. It really looks like a perfect day, doesn’t it? All those snowy white, puffy clouds in the blue sky, and this refreshing breeze… It is absolutely marvellous. Dear sir, would you mind if I took a photograph of you and these charming surroundings? No… No, not at all. You will fit just perfectly, worry not, sir. A little to the right, please. Hold it! Hold it… Got it~!! Now, that is going to be extraordinary once I return home and develop it, I can feel it. What the f… who the hell was I talking to!? A tree!? I am losing it… I am losing it again, what am I doing… She really crashed us, didn’t she… Way too fast chan… way too fast. We have totally lost the ground under our feet, haven’t we? You should have known better… fast changes are never good, they never are. One thing I will never understand though… How in the hell did she manage to break something already so broken, even more… how? It’s beyond me. Does it mean… I wasn’t broken before? Hmm, doesn’t matter. This tree… it bends like my reality… trying to reach the impossible. Are the things we always wanted really impossible, or are we making them that way? What is really stopping us from what we want in life? Is it reality… or what we create ourselves? The mush of loneliness, doubt, lack of entertainment, sense of direction and happiness, all this… at the same time. Such a bad timing Mr Chan, poor planning, too much emotions… too much of everything. I need my way of life back, my philosophy and beliefs, I need it all back. I don’t want to go back to the same place though, no. I need something different, I need to give myself a chance for something new, I need to know for sure. I can almost hear the voice telling me… Do not try and bend the tree. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realise the truth. What truth? There is no tree. Then you’ll see, that it is not the tree that bends, it is only yourself. “

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