” Groups Of Understanding ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

A group of people here. A group of people there. You can rarely see somebody alone. And even if you do, there is a great chance they are just going to meet somebody. People are definitely not meant to live alone. So what gives that some people can’t imagine life without bunch of random friends around them whilst others can’t imagine being amongst almost anyone? I believe it is a matter of personality and its complexity. People without the greater depth are more likely to find someone similar to them than people whose nature is rather complex. If you are not on the same page as others, there is a good chance you will not be liked or enjoy the company of those people, probably both. Being alone is not a fate though. It is a choice you make. Of course some people have it much harder to find somebody similar to themselves, if they live in a small town or village for example. It is a matter of time and determination though, so if you really want to find some friend with whom you could share your weirdness, don’t lose hope; it is by all means possible. So going further down this road I’ve tried to answer my own question: why am I alone? I’ve come to a conclusion there is no single reason behind it, rather a combination of a few. The biggest one would be; it’s my choice. My complexity is beyond a chance to find anyone on the same page. The best case scenario for me is to find someone in the same book. My requirements and expectations are similar to my dreams, they’re almost unreal to reach. I don’t even clearly remember how it feels to be around a bunch of good friends any more. I used to have that in the time of my childhood and it was great, but… There’s just too much going on in my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. So yea… it is my choice. It is nice to know there are people who would take their time and try to understand me though, I know they’re out there. Thank you for being and sorry for my isolation.

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” Spiky Greens ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

I always knew… I have always known what I want in life… I was sure and confident about it as well… I don’t know what happened, I mean I know… but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it’s true, and I don’t know the way out of it now… I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all… I have triggered the bomb, and I don’t know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known… Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don’t know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well… All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don’t know any more… I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life…

Art Prints

” Mystery Continues ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

” So, the mystery continues… I am still trying to figure out what’s so special about those blocks of flats to me. I think it comes from my childhood. See, I didn’t use to go out a lot when I was a kid. I was basically living my whole life in my beloved flat most of the time, and I really liked it. I was enjoying outside activities at my grandparents at the weekends, but that was it. Five days a week, I was sitting at my home playing games, watching telly and playing with my toys, all the time (except for when I had to go out to school, obviously; which I wasn’t really fond of…). I totally loved my childhood, by the way. Hah~!! I was just reading it over out loud and I realised that my current adult life resembles the one from my childhood almost identically… wow… It looks I haven’t moved in life at all… Anyway, I was spending my life in tight enclosed spaces most of the time, so this might be one of the reasons. The second one I have figured out is probably connected with my lone style of life. See, I don’t have many friends you know. To tell the truth, I don’t have any at the moment. I had two best friends a long time ago, but they are… out there in the world somewhere now. So I think, I really enjoy being around people, even though I don’t like 98% of them. I am leading a solitary boring life, so it makes me feel nice being in places where life just lives the normal way, you know? I am pretty sure it all adds up to itself. Childhood nostalgia, loneliness, love of being outside, taking something back as a souvenir and probably so much more… All that is the reason why I enjoy doing what I do so much, and it explains a lot why I am being so attracted to those places… I feel like I am at home, even though the real one is far far away sometimes. I feel I belong between those tall buildings (inside and on top of them too!). It’s a truly magical experience for me every time I go out there. I just wish I had someone to share those moments with… Just that one person I could take with me and get lost in time… “

Art Prints

” Industrial Beauty ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

” It is one of those pieces… One of those pieces that nobody understands… Hesitation… should I delete it and move on looking for something more popularly likeable? No Chan, you shouldn’t. Trust your instinct. You were browsing photographs and something clicked right away when you saw it for the first time. That’s pure, something real, genuine beauty in its raw form. Keep it. So I did. It’s really hard to explain what I love about it without giving my own eyes and mind to someone else to experience it my way. Though I shall do my best and try to explain it. Let’s start with the major things first. Light and shade, both living in mutual respect, both perfectly completing each other. There is a beautiful bright and happy sky on the upper part, there is also not so happy darker shaded area at the bottom. They give this balanced and complete look of it. You also cannot not notice those four beautiful chrome chimneys… All shiny and glittering in the sun. An amazing reflection of them on the nearby wall, awesome green grass at the bottom left corner, billowy clouds above, branches… There is so much going on, so many things to look at… It’s cosy… It’s one of those special places. I call them ‘magical spots’. You just want to stand there and enjoy everything that surrounds you. It makes you so happy, full of appreciation and energy to live. It is also very hard to capture it. I keep looking at it, and I can’t believe I almost deleted it… I love it so much. Those colours and tint… Everything just ads up to itself creating this Industrial Beauty. Things like that gets me going another hours, days, weeks worth of pure walking… Just to find another one of those magical spots… “

Art Prints

 

 

” Pastel Madness ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” Beyond seven mountains, beyond seven rivers… there is a faraway land called, Pastel Madness. The local people living there believe in a very strange legend. Some of them claim that every 8 years a very special event occurs on one of the nearby hills. They say that during that special time you can ask for one thing, and one thing only, that shall be granted to you. It only works for one person so you have to be the first with your wish. It starts like every other sunset but it certainly is not. You can notice it quite easily with its unique delicate pastel-coloured sky. Now the fun part begins… After a short while of standing on the correct hill; oh yes my dear… you have to be lucky enough to stand on the correct hill during that phenomenon as well, you should notice strange winds accosting your body from every possible direction. What is so unique about them, you may ask… Well, what if I told you the winds have the most delicious scents you can possibly imagine, and they change every few seconds too. After the winds, the most interesting part comes along. The air around you supposed to get thicker and thicker. Soon enough, every pastel colour you can see around yourself turns into cotton wool. Different colour, different flavour. All within your arm’s reach, you don’t even have to move to get it, you just grab it straight from the sky. Once you eat enough, the time should stop for 8 seconds; that is the moment when you should shout your wish out. It sound ridiculous, I know… Yet, there are people who believe it so blindly that they are going to sacrifice their lives just to get a chance to make their wish… I’ve heard some crazy stories about people living on the hills, families moving to nearby towns and villages from across the world just to be closer to this allegedly special place, and many many more… I look at the sky, and it indeed look like it’s got this very magical pastel vibe to it… Sure, there was lots of wind going on too, but I didn’t smell anything nice, hmm… Did I get down too quickly? Maybe I was on the wrong hill? Damn it~!! Why do I even bother!? It doesn’t matter. It is just a story for kids. But the sky… there’s something about it… “

Art Prints

 

 

 

 

 

” Dusty Hill ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” I saw that hill before… Unfortunately at that time I was unable to climb it and check what is there that’s hiding from me. I kept looking at it from down below with great curiosity. I knew I would come back here and find out what’s on top of it one day; it was just a matter of time. Not so long after, a few months perhaps, there I was… standing again and looking at it… The pros and cons running through my mind… The decision is made. I am going up. I crossed the road and started climbing it. It’s much higher than I thought it was. I started running. I want it now. I want to see what’s on top of it and I don’t want to wait any longer. I am getting tired. It is much much higher than it looks like from back down. And that wind… the higher I climb the stronger it gets. I start running again. My body produces tremendous amount of heat. I can feel my legs getting all swollen up from all the blood being pumped to muscles. I am walking and sweating. I can feel wind piercing my body. Will I get ill afterwards? Will the wind get me? I run again. My jeans are so tight they will burst any minute now. I keep wondering; how is it possible that my legs got so fat so quick. It feels like they have been hiding their real potential from me. The moment I checked the jeans on my thighs was also the moment I noticed all the mud around me. The soil was wet. What the hell… It was so dry back down. There’s an endless field on my left and right. The only thing that separates me from all this muddy hell is a very narrow path of grass I have been running up the hill. Unfortunately I have also found out that I am not safe even here… With every step I was taking, a big cloud of dirty muddy dust was arising from the grass… I was trapped. I was somewhere in the middle of my way to the top… my boots and the lower part of jeans were dirty, grey and white from all that dust I have been kicking around for the last couple of minutes… The moment of great regret grasped me hard and squeezed painfully. Stupid… so stupid; I thought. Who in their right minds would run up some big ass hill just to find out the view… I was seriously thinking of making my way back down, but what was the point? I would have to go back the same way and giving up now didn’t make any sense. I started running up again, occasionally looking down, only to find out how it hurts my soul seeing all that dust flying on my boots and jeans… Finally I reached the top… There was nothing there… The hill was just flat… and behind it… there was just mud… endless fields of mud… I remembered that one tree I had seen from back down. I decided to meet it in person… Unfortunately, the only way to it, was through the mud… It felt like walking through a minefield. I was scared that my next step will be tragic and my boot will get swallowed or something… After short but utterly stressful and careful walk, I reached the tree… We talked for a while… it was nice. I remember running down as quickly as I could just to have the dusty path behind me. I wasn’t happy back then, but now… when I look at my friend from the hill… You tell me, if it was worth it or not… “

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” I Do Not Know ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know… If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are probably looking at one of my last photographs as well. It came out of nowhere… really. How could I not see this coming… I had a hard time bringing back something worthy from my last journeys. I should have seen that coming. I think a new phone which was a gift from my brother was the final nail in the coffin. The first video I made with it to be precise, was the point when everything has changed. The funny thing is that I have picked up photography in the first place because the idea of filming, storing all those videos and uploading them with my super slow internet… well… let’s just say, it didn’t look too attractive, and I have decided it wasn’t an option for me. Oh, and I couldn’t have sell and present my videos in such a nice way as the photographs. Not that I have sold any or it was my priority, but yea… at that time the dream was big and lucrative. Any way, there were many situation where I wanted to share something with a viewer, but the photographs were too limiting. I was going wider and wider with the choice of my lenses, but it helped me only to a degree. With a moving picture, not constrained to any particular frame, I can show what I love about certain places and things. Nothing really changed though, I still don’t like the idea of storing video files, uploading them with the same slow ass internet, and everything else to be honest… BUT! My last journey was totally dominated by videos… I have taken like 3 or so photographs, and made tens of short video clips which excited me so much. When I felt that great excitement while I was filming, that feeling that I can share everything what I see with a viewer, that was it. I knew this is the place I want to be. There are still many great things to photograph, and ideally I should have two systems with me; one for photographs and the other one for videos. Maybe I will be able to come up with something that will satisfy me in both. I don’t know… I really am up to my ears in filming. I don’t know where it all goes… I just know I love it, and this is my new way of expressing what I love. If you are curious about the new thing, just search for tgchan on youtube and you shall find it/ “

www.youtube.com/user/tgchan

Art Prints

 

” New Year Same Year Every Year ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I am not gonna lie… I love a New Year’s Eve. I even love it every year. I also hate it, exactly as much as I love it, when the last visible firework fade away in the darkness of night… The short period between two weeks before Christmas and New Year’s Eve, must be my favourite time in a whole year. The energy and the positive aura is amazing. I love to feel that moment when everyone is so focused on their life; preparation, presents, stress and everything else. It feels like everything around me is going at least three times faster than normal, and I just love to observe it from the perspective of my slow and derailed life… People seem to be different at that time as well, I like them that way. The moment when the last firecracker finally disappears from the sky, is also the moment when I get that weird feeling that the clock has been just rested, and everyone is bound to get back to what they have been previously doing, all year round. Another year, another example that your own plans mean nothing to the plans that have been made for you. That night was supposed to be so special, other than all previous ones… Finally someone to share emotions with, a chance to start a new year like never before, but no… I guess it wasn’t meant for me. At least, not just yet. Once again, my life has been adjusted to the path I didn’t choose. Maybe this is what I wanted somewhere deep down… Maybe it saved me from something that wasn’t good for me… Oh well, at least I had a chance to capture this beautiful moment. “

Photography Prints

” Autumnal Curtain ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” Happy yellow leaves, dancing in the very last, warm autumnal breeze. Embracing with great passion and love, each remaining ray of sunshine. Soon, everything will turn grey, decay and fade away… But not just yet my dear friend~!! It is now, be happy~!! Dance, smile, hug your mates, laugh and cherish the moment, because after all… this is exactly what life should be about. Work, school, problems in general, are only obstacles on your path of being happy. Some people achieve this state quite easily, others must learn it the hard way. It may take years or even decades to finally realise that happiness is truly in your hands. You have the power to recreate it, whenever you want it. All tears and sadness, are there just to remind you that, it doesn’t have to be like that… and also that you shouldn’t settle for an average life. Those leaves know it, they know their power. Jumping in a wind like a bunch of happy springs, rejoicing in this blissful moment. You can find the light in the darkest places of life. You just need to open your eyes wide enough, and truly wish for it. Autumnal Curtain will soon fall down, and then… winter will come. But until that time though, it doesn’t matter… there is only joy. Learn how to separate your mind from the future and the past, and you will become really close to the art of recreating happiness… “

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” Show-off ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” I don’t know who was managing the sky that night, but I think we can agree that he went way too far with it this time. I mean it is not a fucking canvas, is it!?!… You can’t just paint some abnormal colours and smear them all over people’s head like that, it’s not normal~!! People are not used to see such wonderfulness. I understand that sunset should be spectacular from time to time, but this shit here could cause some serious problems, like; accidents, people trying to get on roofs to get a better view, cars stopping in a middle of a fucking road etc. I mean it’s a serious thing. You can’t just make such a display out of nowhere… No announcement, no previous signs that something like that will happen in future, nothing. Hell yea, let’s just flash that shit out of the blue and see those poor bastards’ reaction… I bet they will go nuts, thinking some kind of fucking apocalypse or aliens are coming. Whoever done this shit should get fired, and some kind of a grand art prize as well, because despite the possible problems it might cause, his work is just plain brilliant~!! Don’t get me wrong, it definitely should have not happened on the sky. It is not his private sheet of paper to doodle around. But yes, I have to agree… dude has got a serious talent. The thing is… people are not meant to see such joyful things. The life should be grey, boring and dark most of the time. People should focus on making money, breeding, thinking about buying another shit they don’t need, and definitely not thinking about beautiful things like that. It may cause them to slow down their lives and wonder; what is their real purpose of existence, why do they chase material things all the time, instead of enjoying simple and free pleasures, or even worse~!! They may even realise that their pathetic everyday and monotonous life is just a cover to propel our machine. We certainly do not want that to happen, do we? Okay… Maybe I was a little too harsh on this guy… I understand. He has a need to vent his artistic creativity somewhere. After all, everyone has got their personal needs, right? Maybe instead of sacking him, they should transfer him to the dream department. Yes, actually it’s a great idea. Move him exactly there. His skills should be perfectly suited to design nice, cosy and beautiful world that exists only in dreams. But in the real world? No fucking way~!! Remember, people are meant to move cogs and not admire what is behind the great curtain. We do not need anything that may cause their thinking go off the track, especially things like the FUCKING RAINBOWY SKY~!! Thanks god he didn’t add bloody flying unicorns to it… Any way, I think we are clear on that. Such pictures are only good for dreams. They make them get up in the morning and give necessary hope, that it will get better one day, but that’s it~!! We don’t actually want to give them what they want, it may fuck up their minds, it’s no good. Remember, just enough to keep them going and hoping for the better, all the way up until they drop dead. Understood!? Dismissed. “

tgchan.com