” Groups Of Understanding ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

A group of people here. A group of people there. You can rarely see somebody alone. And even if you do, there is a great chance they are just going to meet somebody. People are definitely not meant to live alone. So what gives that some people can’t imagine life without bunch of random friends around them whilst others can’t imagine being amongst almost anyone? I believe it is a matter of personality and its complexity. People without the greater depth are more likely to find someone similar to them than people whose nature is rather complex. If you are not on the same page as others, there is a good chance you will not be liked or enjoy the company of those people, probably both. Being alone is not a fate though. It is a choice you make. Of course some people have it much harder to find somebody similar to themselves, if they live in a small town or village for example. It is a matter of time and determination though, so if you really want to find some friend with whom you could share your weirdness, don’t lose hope; it is by all means possible. So going further down this road I’ve tried to answer my own question: why am I alone? I’ve come to a conclusion there is no single reason behind it, rather a combination of a few. The biggest one would be; it’s my choice. My complexity is beyond a chance to find anyone on the same page. The best case scenario for me is to find someone in the same book. My requirements and expectations are similar to my dreams, they’re almost unreal to reach. I don’t even clearly remember how it feels to be around a bunch of good friends any more. I used to have that in the time of my childhood and it was great, but… There’s just too much going on in my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. So yea… it is my choice. It is nice to know there are people who would take their time and try to understand me though, I know they’re out there. Thank you for being and sorry for my isolation.

tgchan.com

 

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” I Miss You ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know where you are… I don’t even know how you look like… but I miss you… I miss being with you so much… I know you are out there… somewhere… and I am scared… I am so damn scared that we may never have a chance to meet each other. It’s unsettling… Have we already met? Is life playing with us? I can feel, you might be my key to everything. I miss you… I yearn for you… but I don’t even know if I could really live with you… Maybe this is why we have not met each other… maybe I am just not ready yet. Doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you, and I really miss you. One thing I am certain though… If I am not able to give you what is required for your long term happiness… I would rather never see you. I do not want to be your disappointment. I would rather chase a ghost my entire life, rather than being with you, and knowing that I cannot change your life for the better. My inner self is torn apart… I don’t even know what I want any more. I mean, I know… but I also know that the things I want come at price. Actually no… they may come at certain price with the wrong kind of girl, but theoretically speaking, not with you. This is why I want YOU~!! and no one else. I am tired… it’s late. I have to go sleep. I really can’t wait for our first journey… a long drive, hours of walking and exploring, looking at the beautiful world shining in the sun, a delicate breeze… It can’t be just dreams… it feels too real, too vivid and too close… Good night my love, wherever you are… “

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” New Year Same Year Every Year ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I am not gonna lie… I love a New Year’s Eve. I even love it every year. I also hate it, exactly as much as I love it, when the last visible firework fade away in the darkness of night… The short period between two weeks before Christmas and New Year’s Eve, must be my favourite time in a whole year. The energy and the positive aura is amazing. I love to feel that moment when everyone is so focused on their life; preparation, presents, stress and everything else. It feels like everything around me is going at least three times faster than normal, and I just love to observe it from the perspective of my slow and derailed life… People seem to be different at that time as well, I like them that way. The moment when the last firecracker finally disappears from the sky, is also the moment when I get that weird feeling that the clock has been just rested, and everyone is bound to get back to what they have been previously doing, all year round. Another year, another example that your own plans mean nothing to the plans that have been made for you. That night was supposed to be so special, other than all previous ones… Finally someone to share emotions with, a chance to start a new year like never before, but no… I guess it wasn’t meant for me. At least, not just yet. Once again, my life has been adjusted to the path I didn’t choose. Maybe this is what I wanted somewhere deep down… Maybe it saved me from something that wasn’t good for me… Oh well, at least I had a chance to capture this beautiful moment. “

Photography Prints

” Show-off ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” I don’t know who was managing the sky that night, but I think we can agree that he went way too far with it this time. I mean it is not a fucking canvas, is it!?!… You can’t just paint some abnormal colours and smear them all over people’s head like that, it’s not normal~!! People are not used to see such wonderfulness. I understand that sunset should be spectacular from time to time, but this shit here could cause some serious problems, like; accidents, people trying to get on roofs to get a better view, cars stopping in a middle of a fucking road etc. I mean it’s a serious thing. You can’t just make such a display out of nowhere… No announcement, no previous signs that something like that will happen in future, nothing. Hell yea, let’s just flash that shit out of the blue and see those poor bastards’ reaction… I bet they will go nuts, thinking some kind of fucking apocalypse or aliens are coming. Whoever done this shit should get fired, and some kind of a grand art prize as well, because despite the possible problems it might cause, his work is just plain brilliant~!! Don’t get me wrong, it definitely should have not happened on the sky. It is not his private sheet of paper to doodle around. But yes, I have to agree… dude has got a serious talent. The thing is… people are not meant to see such joyful things. The life should be grey, boring and dark most of the time. People should focus on making money, breeding, thinking about buying another shit they don’t need, and definitely not thinking about beautiful things like that. It may cause them to slow down their lives and wonder; what is their real purpose of existence, why do they chase material things all the time, instead of enjoying simple and free pleasures, or even worse~!! They may even realise that their pathetic everyday and monotonous life is just a cover to propel our machine. We certainly do not want that to happen, do we? Okay… Maybe I was a little too harsh on this guy… I understand. He has a need to vent his artistic creativity somewhere. After all, everyone has got their personal needs, right? Maybe instead of sacking him, they should transfer him to the dream department. Yes, actually it’s a great idea. Move him exactly there. His skills should be perfectly suited to design nice, cosy and beautiful world that exists only in dreams. But in the real world? No fucking way~!! Remember, people are meant to move cogs and not admire what is behind the great curtain. We do not need anything that may cause their thinking go off the track, especially things like the FUCKING RAINBOWY SKY~!! Thanks god he didn’t add bloody flying unicorns to it… Any way, I think we are clear on that. Such pictures are only good for dreams. They make them get up in the morning and give necessary hope, that it will get better one day, but that’s it~!! We don’t actually want to give them what they want, it may fuck up their minds, it’s no good. Remember, just enough to keep them going and hoping for the better, all the way up until they drop dead. Understood!? Dismissed. “

tgchan.com

” Oranged ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” I am always curious of the setting of the sun. Sometimes, it gives you a wild spectrum of weird colours across the sky. Sometimes, it can even make everything around you look like it’s out of this planet. I was lucky enough to witness it a couple of times myself. It is a truly magnificent experience. Everything you look at, is drowned in colours that should not be there. They are unique, magical and makes your jaw drop with awe. Suddenly, you feel like you are somewhere else… like it’s not your planet any more, or the world is ending. Unfortunately, it lasts only minutes, and the sun is gone a short while after… taking this breathtaking visual effect with its departure. The photograph you are looking at, is the beginning of one of those moments. At that time, I didn’t know about it. I thought it’s just a nice sunset, that’s all. So when I shot what I wanted, and I saw the sun getting behind the horizon taking most of the available light with it, I decided to go back home. At about the halfway of my way back, I noticed that colours around me are getting pretty weird. All pink, magenta and purple shades were dancing right in front of my eyes, making everything around me look bizarre. At that point, I realised that I am going to miss out this marvellous occurrence… even worse~!! I was going to miss it with the camera in my hands. I thought to myself; it’s not gonna happen~!! So I started to run, and run hard to the only place that could give me at least a slightest chance to capture this rare beauty of nature. As I was running along, I had those beautiful photographs I wanted to have so bad, right in front of my eyes… Did I get at least one of them? Well, we will see about it… the next weekend… “

Art Prints

” Bath Time ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” Who doesn’t like it? Is there anybody who doesn’t like feeling of warm water hugging their body? Is there anyone who doesn’t enjoy this blissful form of deep relaxation? Look at those happy fellows. Aren’t they having a wonderful time? The water is crystal clear. The warm sun rays are making sure it stays at comfortably high temperature. I mean, it looks like a heaven on earth, doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t let submerge themselves in this glorious liquid? After a long and tiring day… immersing your fatigued body into this pleasantly hot water, letting it heal your mind and soul. Oh my god… It feels like your body is going to melt away, leaving nothing but an honest smile on your dissolved face… The 2017 is right round the corner, but the warm water still keeps my body in a soft embrace. I can hear some firecrackers already going off in the distance… probably some eager children tired of waiting for the midnight. I don’t want this moment ever go away… I have no worries… I do not have to do anything… I have got everything what I want… It is truly blissfully. It feels so special in its unique way. The last day between the old and the new year, submerged deep in something that feels like a paradise… Happy 2017… “

Photography Prints

” Interstellar Suspension ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” The clouds froze right in front of my eyes, I could feel air getting thicker and thicker… My body started to feel like it was suspended in water. The change… I could feel it so clearly… Stars aligned, galaxies in a perfect harmony. That moment of an incredible slowdown… Like a bullet caught in a ballistic gelatine, everything stopped in a blink of an eye. What now? I didn’t care about anything… I just kept looking in the sky, trying to see things beyond the clouds. My poor human eyes… they were just not enough. I could still feel it though, not to mention being able to admire the beauty of an incredible display on our terrestrial end of the spectrum. I may not fully understand it, but I know how it affects me. I have walked out from the home sad, but now… I am oversaturated with happiness and joy. I still miss that soft hand I could grab when I need it, hug a soul… but for now… I am okay. So I thank the stars and everything that surrounds me, that I may be happy… even though I know, it is just for a short-lived while… “

Art Prints

” On The Verge Of Change ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” I really like that particular time you know… The sun is almost gone, people returning home, members of families finally together again… it is a happy time. It’s bright enough to still call it a day, but you can already feel it in air, night is close. The first cool breeze has already started gently pushing you around, but it is still nice, nothing unpleasant. I am standing on the verge of change, admiring everything that surrounds me… I have doubts. Why am I standing here and looking at the life from above, why am I not a part of it… what is the meaning behind it? Am I a god? Dangerously balancing on the edge of inevitable, the point of no return, I observe and try to understand my role in all this. Am I risking too much? I wonder how it feels to be down there, living casual normal life. You know… a wife, kids, job you hate, and everything else that adds up to its entertaining uniqueness. Soon, almost everything will disappear under the blanket of night. It is a matter of minutes now, when the clouds will swallow the sun completely. I can’t get enough of it, it’s beautiful… I want to soak in it. I want every inch of my body to get saturated with its splendour. I am tired, I am tired of it all. I want to exist just in moments like those, I don’t want anything less. It looks like the horizon is bending already, will the rest of the world follow it? “

tgchan.com

 http://tgchan.com/featured/on-the-verge-of-change-tgchan.html

” Bandage Man ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 77mm F1.8 Limited )

Original Street Artist: Anna Matuszewska in association with Galeria Sztuki 58, Radom.

” A face full of scars, eyes filled with tears and a heart shattered by thousands of unfulfilled and broken dreams… Still looking up, still… searching for light. Another dream, another failure… pain… another scar to patch up. Living deep down, below in darkness, almost at the bottom… not low enough to bounce back and regain control, drifting… A soul so battered and ripped apart, it scares with all the hollows, echoes and ever-tearing stitches. Tears changing into pus, life shifting gracefully into a coma… a blissful lethargy, slowly taking everything away. There’s no fight, not anymore, only compliance. Awakening, again. Another vision, another hope. Looking in the mirror, still deformed… unsightly. Nothing has changed, nothing ever does… Euphoria, enlightenment, hope, happiness, enchantment, love… Taking a razor blade, a short glance at a shiny frail piece of steel, time to fail once again. Cutting the soft flesh of own face… warm red liquid covers all. Look, another broken dream… another chance for a new life, another distraction, another mark. A white cloth takes a place of a fresh and swollen wound, I can still feel… I can still dream. What have I become… Will I ever succeed, and start living before I am finally gone… ? “

 

Photography Prints

 

 http://tgchan.com/featured/bandage-man-tgchan.html

 

” Left Behind ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + SMC Pentax-DA 50mm F1.8 )

” Some things are meant to be left behind… Others, we cannot take with us. Through our lifetime, we gather so much physical things… Though, we cannot take even single one of them, to another life. All items are deeply connected with our lives. What a shame, they will never be able to tell our stories… yet there is something unique about them. You can definitely feel, they hide and carry some kind of secret information… Unfortunately, you cannot read nor learn about it. I look at this forgotten padlock and wonder, how many days and nights it has already witnessed, how many more it will… before nature will take its last mineral back to its own place. Long time forgotten items, the treasure chests of abandoned memories… “

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/left-behind-tgchan.html

 

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