” Groups Of Understanding ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

A group of people here. A group of people there. You can rarely see somebody alone. And even if you do, there is a great chance they are just going to meet somebody. People are definitely not meant to live alone. So what gives that some people can’t imagine life without bunch of random friends around them whilst others can’t imagine being amongst almost anyone? I believe it is a matter of personality and its complexity. People without the greater depth are more likely to find someone similar to them than people whose nature is rather complex. If you are not on the same page as others, there is a good chance you will not be liked or enjoy the company of those people, probably both. Being alone is not a fate though. It is a choice you make. Of course some people have it much harder to find somebody similar to themselves, if they live in a small town or village for example. It is a matter of time and determination though, so if you really want to find some friend with whom you could share your weirdness, don’t lose hope; it is by all means possible. So going further down this road I’ve tried to answer my own question: why am I alone? I’ve come to a conclusion there is no single reason behind it, rather a combination of a few. The biggest one would be; it’s my choice. My complexity is beyond a chance to find anyone on the same page. The best case scenario for me is to find someone in the same book. My requirements and expectations are similar to my dreams, they’re almost unreal to reach. I don’t even clearly remember how it feels to be around a bunch of good friends any more. I used to have that in the time of my childhood and it was great, but… There’s just too much going on in my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. So yea… it is my choice. It is nice to know there are people who would take their time and try to understand me though, I know they’re out there. Thank you for being and sorry for my isolation.

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” Spiky Greens ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

I always knew… I have always known what I want in life… I was sure and confident about it as well… I don’t know what happened, I mean I know… but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it’s true, and I don’t know the way out of it now… I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all… I have triggered the bomb, and I don’t know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known… Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don’t know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well… All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don’t know any more… I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life…

Art Prints

” Industrial Beauty ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

” It is one of those pieces… One of those pieces that nobody understands… Hesitation… should I delete it and move on looking for something more popularly likeable? No Chan, you shouldn’t. Trust your instinct. You were browsing photographs and something clicked right away when you saw it for the first time. That’s pure, something real, genuine beauty in its raw form. Keep it. So I did. It’s really hard to explain what I love about it without giving my own eyes and mind to someone else to experience it my way. Though I shall do my best and try to explain it. Let’s start with the major things first. Light and shade, both living in mutual respect, both perfectly completing each other. There is a beautiful bright and happy sky on the upper part, there is also not so happy darker shaded area at the bottom. They give this balanced and complete look of it. You also cannot not notice those four beautiful chrome chimneys… All shiny and glittering in the sun. An amazing reflection of them on the nearby wall, awesome green grass at the bottom left corner, billowy clouds above, branches… There is so much going on, so many things to look at… It’s cosy… It’s one of those special places. I call them ‘magical spots’. You just want to stand there and enjoy everything that surrounds you. It makes you so happy, full of appreciation and energy to live. It is also very hard to capture it. I keep looking at it, and I can’t believe I almost deleted it… I love it so much. Those colours and tint… Everything just ads up to itself creating this Industrial Beauty. Things like that gets me going another hours, days, weeks worth of pure walking… Just to find another one of those magical spots… “

Art Prints

 

 

” Dusty Hill ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” I saw that hill before… Unfortunately at that time I was unable to climb it and check what is there that’s hiding from me. I kept looking at it from down below with great curiosity. I knew I would come back here and find out what’s on top of it one day; it was just a matter of time. Not so long after, a few months perhaps, there I was… standing again and looking at it… The pros and cons running through my mind… The decision is made. I am going up. I crossed the road and started climbing it. It’s much higher than I thought it was. I started running. I want it now. I want to see what’s on top of it and I don’t want to wait any longer. I am getting tired. It is much much higher than it looks like from back down. And that wind… the higher I climb the stronger it gets. I start running again. My body produces tremendous amount of heat. I can feel my legs getting all swollen up from all the blood being pumped to muscles. I am walking and sweating. I can feel wind piercing my body. Will I get ill afterwards? Will the wind get me? I run again. My jeans are so tight they will burst any minute now. I keep wondering; how is it possible that my legs got so fat so quick. It feels like they have been hiding their real potential from me. The moment I checked the jeans on my thighs was also the moment I noticed all the mud around me. The soil was wet. What the hell… It was so dry back down. There’s an endless field on my left and right. The only thing that separates me from all this muddy hell is a very narrow path of grass I have been running up the hill. Unfortunately I have also found out that I am not safe even here… With every step I was taking, a big cloud of dirty muddy dust was arising from the grass… I was trapped. I was somewhere in the middle of my way to the top… my boots and the lower part of jeans were dirty, grey and white from all that dust I have been kicking around for the last couple of minutes… The moment of great regret grasped me hard and squeezed painfully. Stupid… so stupid; I thought. Who in their right minds would run up some big ass hill just to find out the view… I was seriously thinking of making my way back down, but what was the point? I would have to go back the same way and giving up now didn’t make any sense. I started running up again, occasionally looking down, only to find out how it hurts my soul seeing all that dust flying on my boots and jeans… Finally I reached the top… There was nothing there… The hill was just flat… and behind it… there was just mud… endless fields of mud… I remembered that one tree I had seen from back down. I decided to meet it in person… Unfortunately, the only way to it, was through the mud… It felt like walking through a minefield. I was scared that my next step will be tragic and my boot will get swallowed or something… After short but utterly stressful and careful walk, I reached the tree… We talked for a while… it was nice. I remember running down as quickly as I could just to have the dusty path behind me. I wasn’t happy back then, but now… when I look at my friend from the hill… You tell me, if it was worth it or not… “

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” Resident Evil ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” Not so far from the city… there is a mansion. The mansion nobody wants to talk about… It’s supposed to be abandoned, but there are many people who claim they have seen bright lights at night multiple times. There are also reports of missing people who have allegedly ventured on its premises. It is uncomfortable and unsettling… it just sits there. Nobody likes it, nobody wants it there, everyone demands some answers about it, but there is simply no one to give them. It feels like an itch you cannot scratch. There are some crazy rumours going on about it as well. There are sources claiming that the building belongs to the Umbrella Corporation; an omnipresent major pharmaceutical company reputed for its evil and ruthless nature, sacrificing anyone and anything in their quest to achieve perfection. To the public, Umbrella is simply the leading provider in technology, medical and healthcare products… But everyone knows that the Umbrella Corporation also supplies viral weaponry across the world and holds considerable clout within the political and business ring. Now the thing I am going to tell you may sound like the talk of a crazy person, but there are some proofs backing up the story of one of the people who have allegedly partially explored the building. That person said that the mansion is just a front for the secret transport link to the Hive; an underground bioweapons research facility located under the city. I know… believe me, I know exactly how it sounds like but… What if I told you that everyone directly connected with the rumour has either emigrated to another country or just disappeared, and there is no one who knows what has really happened with them. Some poor family is still hopelessly fighting Umbrella Corp. in courts, which is allegedly responsible for the disappearance of their son. You may think what you want, but I know there is something not right about this building. It may look just normal to you, but there is too much things going on about it. Hopefully, I will not get into some kind of trouble because of this photograph… If I disappear or suddenly “emigrate” to god knows where… you will know who might be responsible for it. “

Art Prints

” Four Brothers ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” Four Brothers have finally come together… It has been decades since they have all met. They all came up from the same parents. They all grew up together. Unfortunately, life have divided their lives and spread them across the globe. Busy with their careers, work and other activities, they rarely even had time to talk to each other. All is past now though… They’re together, close, united once again. So much to share, so much to talk about, get up to speed, make up for all those years of not caring. They have missed each other so much… It is so unfortunate that such sad event had to be the reason for their meeting. Their beloved parents… gone, forever and ever echoing in their painfully shattered minds. They are all sitting silently together now, watching the sun going down and down. It’s nice… Everything has been taken care of, everything has been done. They can finally relax, and slowly learn how to let this go… It’s warm and cosy. The sun is still giving so much warmth, even though it’s so low… It’s so warm and cosy… “

Art Prints

” Colour Bender ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” The legend says, if you mix a number of correct colours you can get one wish, and it can be whatever you want. I have been mixing them for a while now, I have also wished for the same thing many times. See, the problem with my wish is that it may take years or even decades to find out, if it worked or not. I do not lose my hope though. What you see on the photograph here is my latest creation. A very rare arrangement of carefully selected coloured objects. If that didn’t work, I must have been really close with this one. The sun was shining just perfectly, giving it just right amount of little warm haze. The rays of the sun were piercing transparent plastic flesh with high precision, pushing beautiful saturated colours out of their physical form. A pinch of shadows here and there gave it a final touch. I am really impressed. There is something lacking here though, and I can’t pinpoint what it is. Maybe the blue is just not blue enough, hmm. Maybe the angle is not right, hmm let’s see… Oh fuck that plenty~!! I have been arranging some stupid plastic spoons and whatever that is with three pointy fucking things sticking out, moving left and right for more than an hour~!! Sweating my ass for what!? Some stupid thing that is not even real!? Eat it~!! “

Art Prints

” Vegetable Guts ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I keep going back and back thinking what is the best food for humans to eat. Should we even know the taste of animals’ meat? I don’t think we are predators, therefore we shouldn’t eat anything that has been killed by us. Just look at our body. We are not designed to kill, not really. We can create and make a great use of tools, but our body? I honestly don’t think nature wanted us to go after other animals. It’s weird… I have been enjoying and eating meat from the beginning of my life. Hmm… let me think. Vegetables, fruits and other things we can get from animals without hurting them; eggs, honey, milk etc., they are all packed with everything we need, and even more. So why do we kill and eat animals as well? Now that really has started me thinking. Can I do it? Can I really go on without any meat? At the moment my answer is; no I can’t. I mean, I don’t want to. Of course I could, if I wanted… But I most definitely will think about it in free time. What advantages it may have? Hmm I wonder. We don’t have big teeth, venom, claws etc., our biggest weapon is our brain. Theoretically speaking, we should have never started eating animals. That’s fucked up…I wonder if this thought will convert me into a vegetarian at some point. I don’t think so… maybe in the next life. But I do believe, eating other animals is a mistake. We are on top of the food chain, yet we behave like we are somewhere in a middle… Maybe we are… Maybe we are bred like hens and other animals, but for a different reason… The reason we have no idea about… Now that makes sense… “

Art Prints

” I Do Not Know ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know… If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are probably looking at one of my last photographs as well. It came out of nowhere… really. How could I not see this coming… I had a hard time bringing back something worthy from my last journeys. I should have seen that coming. I think a new phone which was a gift from my brother was the final nail in the coffin. The first video I made with it to be precise, was the point when everything has changed. The funny thing is that I have picked up photography in the first place because the idea of filming, storing all those videos and uploading them with my super slow internet… well… let’s just say, it didn’t look too attractive, and I have decided it wasn’t an option for me. Oh, and I couldn’t have sell and present my videos in such a nice way as the photographs. Not that I have sold any or it was my priority, but yea… at that time the dream was big and lucrative. Any way, there were many situation where I wanted to share something with a viewer, but the photographs were too limiting. I was going wider and wider with the choice of my lenses, but it helped me only to a degree. With a moving picture, not constrained to any particular frame, I can show what I love about certain places and things. Nothing really changed though, I still don’t like the idea of storing video files, uploading them with the same slow ass internet, and everything else to be honest… BUT! My last journey was totally dominated by videos… I have taken like 3 or so photographs, and made tens of short video clips which excited me so much. When I felt that great excitement while I was filming, that feeling that I can share everything what I see with a viewer, that was it. I knew this is the place I want to be. There are still many great things to photograph, and ideally I should have two systems with me; one for photographs and the other one for videos. Maybe I will be able to come up with something that will satisfy me in both. I don’t know… I really am up to my ears in filming. I don’t know where it all goes… I just know I love it, and this is my new way of expressing what I love. If you are curious about the new thing, just search for tgchan on youtube and you shall find it/ “

www.youtube.com/user/tgchan

Art Prints

 

” Autumnal Curtain ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” Happy yellow leaves, dancing in the very last, warm autumnal breeze. Embracing with great passion and love, each remaining ray of sunshine. Soon, everything will turn grey, decay and fade away… But not just yet my dear friend~!! It is now, be happy~!! Dance, smile, hug your mates, laugh and cherish the moment, because after all… this is exactly what life should be about. Work, school, problems in general, are only obstacles on your path of being happy. Some people achieve this state quite easily, others must learn it the hard way. It may take years or even decades to finally realise that happiness is truly in your hands. You have the power to recreate it, whenever you want it. All tears and sadness, are there just to remind you that, it doesn’t have to be like that… and also that you shouldn’t settle for an average life. Those leaves know it, they know their power. Jumping in a wind like a bunch of happy springs, rejoicing in this blissful moment. You can find the light in the darkest places of life. You just need to open your eyes wide enough, and truly wish for it. Autumnal Curtain will soon fall down, and then… winter will come. But until that time though, it doesn’t matter… there is only joy. Learn how to separate your mind from the future and the past, and you will become really close to the art of recreating happiness… “

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