” Groups Of Understanding ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

A group of people here. A group of people there. You can rarely see somebody alone. And even if you do, there is a great chance they are just going to meet somebody. People are definitely not meant to live alone. So what gives that some people can’t imagine life without bunch of random friends around them whilst others can’t imagine being amongst almost anyone? I believe it is a matter of personality and its complexity. People without the greater depth are more likely to find someone similar to them than people whose nature is rather complex. If you are not on the same page as others, there is a good chance you will not be liked or enjoy the company of those people, probably both. Being alone is not a fate though. It is a choice you make. Of course some people have it much harder to find somebody similar to themselves, if they live in a small town or village for example. It is a matter of time and determination though, so if you really want to find some friend with whom you could share your weirdness, don’t lose hope; it is by all means possible. So going further down this road I’ve tried to answer my own question: why am I alone? I’ve come to a conclusion there is no single reason behind it, rather a combination of a few. The biggest one would be; it’s my choice. My complexity is beyond a chance to find anyone on the same page. The best case scenario for me is to find someone in the same book. My requirements and expectations are similar to my dreams, they’re almost unreal to reach. I don’t even clearly remember how it feels to be around a bunch of good friends any more. I used to have that in the time of my childhood and it was great, but… There’s just too much going on in my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. So yea… it is my choice. It is nice to know there are people who would take their time and try to understand me though, I know they’re out there. Thank you for being and sorry for my isolation.

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” Mystery Continues ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

” So, the mystery continues… I am still trying to figure out what’s so special about those blocks of flats to me. I think it comes from my childhood. See, I didn’t use to go out a lot when I was a kid. I was basically living my whole life in my beloved flat most of the time, and I really liked it. I was enjoying outside activities at my grandparents at the weekends, but that was it. Five days a week, I was sitting at my home playing games, watching telly and playing with my toys, all the time (except for when I had to go out to school, obviously; which I wasn’t really fond of…). I totally loved my childhood, by the way. Hah~!! I was just reading it over out loud and I realised that my current adult life resembles the one from my childhood almost identically… wow… It looks I haven’t moved in life at all… Anyway, I was spending my life in tight enclosed spaces most of the time, so this might be one of the reasons. The second one I have figured out is probably connected with my lone style of life. See, I don’t have many friends you know. To tell the truth, I don’t have any at the moment. I had two best friends a long time ago, but they are… out there in the world somewhere now. So I think, I really enjoy being around people, even though I don’t like 98% of them. I am leading a solitary boring life, so it makes me feel nice being in places where life just lives the normal way, you know? I am pretty sure it all adds up to itself. Childhood nostalgia, loneliness, love of being outside, taking something back as a souvenir and probably so much more… All that is the reason why I enjoy doing what I do so much, and it explains a lot why I am being so attracted to those places… I feel like I am at home, even though the real one is far far away sometimes. I feel I belong between those tall buildings (inside and on top of them too!). It’s a truly magical experience for me every time I go out there. I just wish I had someone to share those moments with… Just that one person I could take with me and get lost in time… “

Art Prints

” Pastel Madness ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” Beyond seven mountains, beyond seven rivers… there is a faraway land called, Pastel Madness. The local people living there believe in a very strange legend. Some of them claim that every 8 years a very special event occurs on one of the nearby hills. They say that during that special time you can ask for one thing, and one thing only, that shall be granted to you. It only works for one person so you have to be the first with your wish. It starts like every other sunset but it certainly is not. You can notice it quite easily with its unique delicate pastel-coloured sky. Now the fun part begins… After a short while of standing on the correct hill; oh yes my dear… you have to be lucky enough to stand on the correct hill during that phenomenon as well, you should notice strange winds accosting your body from every possible direction. What is so unique about them, you may ask… Well, what if I told you the winds have the most delicious scents you can possibly imagine, and they change every few seconds too. After the winds, the most interesting part comes along. The air around you supposed to get thicker and thicker. Soon enough, every pastel colour you can see around yourself turns into cotton wool. Different colour, different flavour. All within your arm’s reach, you don’t even have to move to get it, you just grab it straight from the sky. Once you eat enough, the time should stop for 8 seconds; that is the moment when you should shout your wish out. It sound ridiculous, I know… Yet, there are people who believe it so blindly that they are going to sacrifice their lives just to get a chance to make their wish… I’ve heard some crazy stories about people living on the hills, families moving to nearby towns and villages from across the world just to be closer to this allegedly special place, and many many more… I look at the sky, and it indeed look like it’s got this very magical pastel vibe to it… Sure, there was lots of wind going on too, but I didn’t smell anything nice, hmm… Did I get down too quickly? Maybe I was on the wrong hill? Damn it~!! Why do I even bother!? It doesn’t matter. It is just a story for kids. But the sky… there’s something about it… “

Art Prints

 

 

 

 

 

” Dusty Hill ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” I saw that hill before… Unfortunately at that time I was unable to climb it and check what is there that’s hiding from me. I kept looking at it from down below with great curiosity. I knew I would come back here and find out what’s on top of it one day; it was just a matter of time. Not so long after, a few months perhaps, there I was… standing again and looking at it… The pros and cons running through my mind… The decision is made. I am going up. I crossed the road and started climbing it. It’s much higher than I thought it was. I started running. I want it now. I want to see what’s on top of it and I don’t want to wait any longer. I am getting tired. It is much much higher than it looks like from back down. And that wind… the higher I climb the stronger it gets. I start running again. My body produces tremendous amount of heat. I can feel my legs getting all swollen up from all the blood being pumped to muscles. I am walking and sweating. I can feel wind piercing my body. Will I get ill afterwards? Will the wind get me? I run again. My jeans are so tight they will burst any minute now. I keep wondering; how is it possible that my legs got so fat so quick. It feels like they have been hiding their real potential from me. The moment I checked the jeans on my thighs was also the moment I noticed all the mud around me. The soil was wet. What the hell… It was so dry back down. There’s an endless field on my left and right. The only thing that separates me from all this muddy hell is a very narrow path of grass I have been running up the hill. Unfortunately I have also found out that I am not safe even here… With every step I was taking, a big cloud of dirty muddy dust was arising from the grass… I was trapped. I was somewhere in the middle of my way to the top… my boots and the lower part of jeans were dirty, grey and white from all that dust I have been kicking around for the last couple of minutes… The moment of great regret grasped me hard and squeezed painfully. Stupid… so stupid; I thought. Who in their right minds would run up some big ass hill just to find out the view… I was seriously thinking of making my way back down, but what was the point? I would have to go back the same way and giving up now didn’t make any sense. I started running up again, occasionally looking down, only to find out how it hurts my soul seeing all that dust flying on my boots and jeans… Finally I reached the top… There was nothing there… The hill was just flat… and behind it… there was just mud… endless fields of mud… I remembered that one tree I had seen from back down. I decided to meet it in person… Unfortunately, the only way to it, was through the mud… It felt like walking through a minefield. I was scared that my next step will be tragic and my boot will get swallowed or something… After short but utterly stressful and careful walk, I reached the tree… We talked for a while… it was nice. I remember running down as quickly as I could just to have the dusty path behind me. I wasn’t happy back then, but now… when I look at my friend from the hill… You tell me, if it was worth it or not… “

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” I Do Not Know ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know… If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are probably looking at one of my last photographs as well. It came out of nowhere… really. How could I not see this coming… I had a hard time bringing back something worthy from my last journeys. I should have seen that coming. I think a new phone which was a gift from my brother was the final nail in the coffin. The first video I made with it to be precise, was the point when everything has changed. The funny thing is that I have picked up photography in the first place because the idea of filming, storing all those videos and uploading them with my super slow internet… well… let’s just say, it didn’t look too attractive, and I have decided it wasn’t an option for me. Oh, and I couldn’t have sell and present my videos in such a nice way as the photographs. Not that I have sold any or it was my priority, but yea… at that time the dream was big and lucrative. Any way, there were many situation where I wanted to share something with a viewer, but the photographs were too limiting. I was going wider and wider with the choice of my lenses, but it helped me only to a degree. With a moving picture, not constrained to any particular frame, I can show what I love about certain places and things. Nothing really changed though, I still don’t like the idea of storing video files, uploading them with the same slow ass internet, and everything else to be honest… BUT! My last journey was totally dominated by videos… I have taken like 3 or so photographs, and made tens of short video clips which excited me so much. When I felt that great excitement while I was filming, that feeling that I can share everything what I see with a viewer, that was it. I knew this is the place I want to be. There are still many great things to photograph, and ideally I should have two systems with me; one for photographs and the other one for videos. Maybe I will be able to come up with something that will satisfy me in both. I don’t know… I really am up to my ears in filming. I don’t know where it all goes… I just know I love it, and this is my new way of expressing what I love. If you are curious about the new thing, just search for tgchan on youtube and you shall find it/ “

www.youtube.com/user/tgchan

Art Prints

 

” Show-off ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” I don’t know who was managing the sky that night, but I think we can agree that he went way too far with it this time. I mean it is not a fucking canvas, is it!?!… You can’t just paint some abnormal colours and smear them all over people’s head like that, it’s not normal~!! People are not used to see such wonderfulness. I understand that sunset should be spectacular from time to time, but this shit here could cause some serious problems, like; accidents, people trying to get on roofs to get a better view, cars stopping in a middle of a fucking road etc. I mean it’s a serious thing. You can’t just make such a display out of nowhere… No announcement, no previous signs that something like that will happen in future, nothing. Hell yea, let’s just flash that shit out of the blue and see those poor bastards’ reaction… I bet they will go nuts, thinking some kind of fucking apocalypse or aliens are coming. Whoever done this shit should get fired, and some kind of a grand art prize as well, because despite the possible problems it might cause, his work is just plain brilliant~!! Don’t get me wrong, it definitely should have not happened on the sky. It is not his private sheet of paper to doodle around. But yes, I have to agree… dude has got a serious talent. The thing is… people are not meant to see such joyful things. The life should be grey, boring and dark most of the time. People should focus on making money, breeding, thinking about buying another shit they don’t need, and definitely not thinking about beautiful things like that. It may cause them to slow down their lives and wonder; what is their real purpose of existence, why do they chase material things all the time, instead of enjoying simple and free pleasures, or even worse~!! They may even realise that their pathetic everyday and monotonous life is just a cover to propel our machine. We certainly do not want that to happen, do we? Okay… Maybe I was a little too harsh on this guy… I understand. He has a need to vent his artistic creativity somewhere. After all, everyone has got their personal needs, right? Maybe instead of sacking him, they should transfer him to the dream department. Yes, actually it’s a great idea. Move him exactly there. His skills should be perfectly suited to design nice, cosy and beautiful world that exists only in dreams. But in the real world? No fucking way~!! Remember, people are meant to move cogs and not admire what is behind the great curtain. We do not need anything that may cause their thinking go off the track, especially things like the FUCKING RAINBOWY SKY~!! Thanks god he didn’t add bloody flying unicorns to it… Any way, I think we are clear on that. Such pictures are only good for dreams. They make them get up in the morning and give necessary hope, that it will get better one day, but that’s it~!! We don’t actually want to give them what they want, it may fuck up their minds, it’s no good. Remember, just enough to keep them going and hoping for the better, all the way up until they drop dead. Understood!? Dismissed. “

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” Oranged ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” I am always curious of the setting of the sun. Sometimes, it gives you a wild spectrum of weird colours across the sky. Sometimes, it can even make everything around you look like it’s out of this planet. I was lucky enough to witness it a couple of times myself. It is a truly magnificent experience. Everything you look at, is drowned in colours that should not be there. They are unique, magical and makes your jaw drop with awe. Suddenly, you feel like you are somewhere else… like it’s not your planet any more, or the world is ending. Unfortunately, it lasts only minutes, and the sun is gone a short while after… taking this breathtaking visual effect with its departure. The photograph you are looking at, is the beginning of one of those moments. At that time, I didn’t know about it. I thought it’s just a nice sunset, that’s all. So when I shot what I wanted, and I saw the sun getting behind the horizon taking most of the available light with it, I decided to go back home. At about the halfway of my way back, I noticed that colours around me are getting pretty weird. All pink, magenta and purple shades were dancing right in front of my eyes, making everything around me look bizarre. At that point, I realised that I am going to miss out this marvellous occurrence… even worse~!! I was going to miss it with the camera in my hands. I thought to myself; it’s not gonna happen~!! So I started to run, and run hard to the only place that could give me at least a slightest chance to capture this rare beauty of nature. As I was running along, I had those beautiful photographs I wanted to have so bad, right in front of my eyes… Did I get at least one of them? Well, we will see about it… the next weekend… “

Art Prints

” Good Night Settlers ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” So, the sun is already comfortably lying in its soft horizon bed… It still has its eyes wide open, but the eyelids are getting heavier and heavier with every minute passing by. It is a matter of short time now, when those bright eyes full of light will get closed for several hours, leaving the town under a dark blanket. People on the other hand are far away from a goodnight sleep. Still busy, still lots of things to finish up before they can snug into their comfy beds. The sky has already started losing its colours, slowly giving up to the inevitable change. The last clouds are soon to be dissolved, leaving nothing but an empty space behind. Wind turbines starting waking up, stretching their arms, warming up, preparing to dance all night. Good night settlers… have a nice and restful night. Time to rest. Close your eyes, let your mind drift away… be free… “

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” Super Cosy Spot ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Not in direct sunlight but in shadows… not in complete darkness though, my sweet spot lies. Somewhere between those two… Somewhere close, so I can see the transition clearly and derive the best of both worlds. Once the light weakens, the shadow grows stronger, slowly devouring and conquering the lands that originally belonged to it. The war will be over soon enough, but the victory is not permanent, nothing ever is… What you take, must be eventually returned. The light still fights strong, bravely pushing darkness back to its black roots. Futile resistance, yet so noble and admirable. I stand there and observe two of the greatest powers duelling for domination, right in front of my eyes… Me, a mere mortal… and even though I know whose turn to win is this time, it’s still magnificent to be a witness of it. Besides, you can never be certain of anything. I can already feel the chills of darkness on my back, but my eyes are focused on warmth of the light in front of me. Beautiful… isn’t it? Now, the best thing is that I can start moving with the darkness, chasing the light and feel the power of the winner. If I choose to… I can step into the light, and start feeling the dread of annihilation, running away in fear. Everything changes… things once so obvious become mysterious. Familiar shapes start becoming unknown and ominous. Uncertainty… is it really the place where happiness dwells? Or is it the moment when you can choose between two things, but you have still not decided, draining positive energy from the both possible realities at the same time? You know you will have to decide what to choose eventually, losing one thing or another as a result of a decision, but you keep stalling the moment, enjoying the freedom of choice. Is it a freedom? Why do I have to choose? Can I choose not to choose? Where am I going with all this…? It doesn’t matter what hides underneath… Just enjoy it. The very same way, I have enjoyed being at my super cosy spot for that brief moment. “

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” Roofs ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + HD Pentax-DA 35mm F2.8 Limited Macro )

” Roofs… they often go unappreciated, unnoticed or being seen from the boring ground level. Climbing on a top floor is always a thrill. First, you have to get into a stairwell. Then, you will have to fight with many steps ahead of you. Very often on the way up, your nose is amused by a different smell on each storey. Finally, once you get on the top level, you might be rewarded with a nice view, that not many people have a chance to glance at. Roofs… they are special, aren’t they? I particularly like the tiled ones, they look like a reptilian skin. Funny enough, they fulfil the same function as well. Coincidence? I don’t think so. There is so much we can learn from the nature. Most, if not all of our greatest technological discoveries, are just merely small scale reflections of what the nature had done centuries ago. She is a great teacher, we are just slow to learn. “

 

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