” Groups Of Understanding ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

A group of people here. A group of people there. You can rarely see somebody alone. And even if you do, there is a great chance they are just going to meet somebody. People are definitely not meant to live alone. So what gives that some people can’t imagine life without bunch of random friends around them whilst others can’t imagine being amongst almost anyone? I believe it is a matter of personality and its complexity. People without the greater depth are more likely to find someone similar to them than people whose nature is rather complex. If you are not on the same page as others, there is a good chance you will not be liked or enjoy the company of those people, probably both. Being alone is not a fate though. It is a choice you make. Of course some people have it much harder to find somebody similar to themselves, if they live in a small town or village for example. It is a matter of time and determination though, so if you really want to find some friend with whom you could share your weirdness, don’t lose hope; it is by all means possible. So going further down this road I’ve tried to answer my own question: why am I alone? I’ve come to a conclusion there is no single reason behind it, rather a combination of a few. The biggest one would be; it’s my choice. My complexity is beyond a chance to find anyone on the same page. The best case scenario for me is to find someone in the same book. My requirements and expectations are similar to my dreams, they’re almost unreal to reach. I don’t even clearly remember how it feels to be around a bunch of good friends any more. I used to have that in the time of my childhood and it was great, but… There’s just too much going on in my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. So yea… it is my choice. It is nice to know there are people who would take their time and try to understand me though, I know they’re out there. Thank you for being and sorry for my isolation.

tgchan.com

 

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” Spiky Greens ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

I always knew… I have always known what I want in life… I was sure and confident about it as well… I don’t know what happened, I mean I know… but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it’s true, and I don’t know the way out of it now… I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all… I have triggered the bomb, and I don’t know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known… Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don’t know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well… All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don’t know any more… I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life…

Art Prints

” Industrial Beauty ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

” It is one of those pieces… One of those pieces that nobody understands… Hesitation… should I delete it and move on looking for something more popularly likeable? No Chan, you shouldn’t. Trust your instinct. You were browsing photographs and something clicked right away when you saw it for the first time. That’s pure, something real, genuine beauty in its raw form. Keep it. So I did. It’s really hard to explain what I love about it without giving my own eyes and mind to someone else to experience it my way. Though I shall do my best and try to explain it. Let’s start with the major things first. Light and shade, both living in mutual respect, both perfectly completing each other. There is a beautiful bright and happy sky on the upper part, there is also not so happy darker shaded area at the bottom. They give this balanced and complete look of it. You also cannot not notice those four beautiful chrome chimneys… All shiny and glittering in the sun. An amazing reflection of them on the nearby wall, awesome green grass at the bottom left corner, billowy clouds above, branches… There is so much going on, so many things to look at… It’s cosy… It’s one of those special places. I call them ‘magical spots’. You just want to stand there and enjoy everything that surrounds you. It makes you so happy, full of appreciation and energy to live. It is also very hard to capture it. I keep looking at it, and I can’t believe I almost deleted it… I love it so much. Those colours and tint… Everything just ads up to itself creating this Industrial Beauty. Things like that gets me going another hours, days, weeks worth of pure walking… Just to find another one of those magical spots… “

Art Prints

 

 

” Handsome Fellow ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” A Handsome Fellow waiting for his new girl outside her home. This is the first time they are going to see each other in person. They have known each other for more than a year but they have never met in real life before. He is very calm on the outside but a little bit stressed on the inside. He wants to make a nice first impression after all. It is somewhat funny. They both know exactly who they are going to meet, but it is still so exciting and somehow enigmatic. He has an intention of making this meeting a very special one. A highly sophisticated list of things to do together is charmingly troubling his soft mind. He wasn’t too nice for her many times in past. Not that he didn’t like her, but to keep distance and to keep his head clear. After so much wasted time, so many nice opportunities missed, he finally decided to gave it a shot. Despite all the negative things and the lack of mutual interests, he can’t be sure that she is not meant for him. She’s won. She will finally learn the truth the hard way. It should be such a nice journey, the weather is just right. Not too hot, not too cold. Wind present, but not pushy. And clouds… the clouds are surely magnificent today; big, heavy and so billowy… just the way he loves them. He’s afraid. He’s frightened to the bone of not being good enough once again. He’s scared of wasting what’s left of his emotions on the wrong person. How can she be the right one? She looks okay, she’s quite smart too, but what about some crucial things like passion, mutual things they would both like. There are literally no things that would hold them together except for fucking… and that… you can find just anywhere… Oh dear… he’s hesitating again. Torn apart between what he thinks is right and what if he is mistaken… He needs that hug so much, but what if it is just another trap… What if it will only hurt him and force to leave another piece of his heart in the wrong place… He whispers: ” She isn’t real, I can’t make her real… ” He turns around and walks away, repeating ” She isn’t real, there’s no one for me here… ” “

Art Prints

 

” Come Out Come Out ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” Come out, Come out… wherever you are… You can’t hide forever. It is a matter of time when the real you will take control, step out of the shade, come to light, show true colours. You can’t be perfect, not for a longer while. The cracks will start showing up, you’ll break, fall apart. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t be the best version of yourself for too long. It doesn’t matter for who and why… you just can’t. The legend says, you can leave your old you, and become a totally different person in a matter of seconds. The art of personality switch is a long time forgotten skill. You can become whoever you want, do whatever you want, and have whatever you want. You can leave imperfect yourself behind, become someone you have always dreamt of being. Do things you have always been afraid of doing, and finally reach for the things that were out of your reach before. It is not permanent, you can’t stay in that state forever. It’s exhausting and tiring. Is it worth it? Are you determined hard enough? Are you ready to become someone who is not you, in order to get what you want from life? The legends says, if you reach the highest level of mastering the art of personality switch, you can do it whenever you want, and last in the new form… for as long as you need it. It also says, there is a risk of irreversibly damaging and altering your old self. Random unwanted personality switches may occur, without the crucial element of leaving the old mind behind, you may find yourself internally torn apart, wanting two different things most of the time. Eventually you will become demented, living two different lives in one body, eternally split between what you want, and what you can’t… Forever shattered, beyond the point of repair… “

Art Prints

 

 

 

 

” Ladies In Red ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 77mm F1.8 Limited )

” Ah… Ladies in Red… Look at those beauties, such a fine specimen… So young and smooth… sunbathing in early warm summer rays of sunshine. There are so many… which one of them should I choose… or maybe I alone have been already chosen by one, who knows? How can I know for sure, which is a good choice for me? Should I pick the youngest? Perhaps I should choose the one that is the closest to me and within my reach? Am I being lazy and convenient here? I shall not ignore those far away, especially the one that keeps looking at me at all time. Who the hell am I to choose between those angels anyway!? Look at me… No past nor future whatsoever, a messy present and no idea about tomorrow, that’s all I’ve got to offer. So many liars, even more lies floating through my mind… Chaos, deception, laziness and betrayal from within… treacherous thoughts polluting and blurring vivid lines I have previously drawn so confidently, so true… Focus~! Stop looking at them all. There’s only one, look at her… she’s still fighting for you… or is she? What is she fighting for really? Fear… Is it an ambush or is it a genuine thing? Who on planet Earth is pulling who into a trap!? No, no, NO~! Stop with the negative thoughts again, focus~! Let’s go back to the beginning… where was I? Ah, beautiful Ladies in Red… so many of them, all beautiful and attractive… constantly tempting and enchanting. Those soft petals… good god~! Dancing so gracefully and moving like magic. Do we really have a choice here? Was it ever our decision to make? Is there a way out of it? Can I go back? Is it too late to undo everything that has been done? If I only knew… If I only fucking new… I would never ever lay my eyes on her. I would never let her waste her time on me. Why do I have to be her mistake, burden and disappointment… I’ve never wanted to, I didn’t know… I just couldn’t know… Look at them smiling at you… Are they already laughing? Everyone wants to be happy, feel special to someone, care and be cared about… Is it a game? Is it really just a bloody game…? I’m tired, confused and resigned… Sorry ladies, it looks like I’ve lost my way again… not to mention the appetite. Cheerio~! “

Art Prints

http://tgchan.com/featured/ladies-in-red-tgchan.html

” Hug a Rock ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + HD Pentax-DA 35mm F2.8 Limited Macro )

” Rocks are amazing… scorching heat, freezing cold, wind, rain, snow, and they still hold on tight… well, most of them anyway. They see so many changes around them, so many sunrises and sunsets, even more clouds, constantly shaping into something new and interesting. They also witness small plants, becoming big forests… and even though they are very lonely most of the time… They are enormously happy, when some people or animals climb and tickle them from time to time. Not so glad, when someone is trying to build a castle on top of their heads though. Hug a rock, show some love, share a moment with our solid friends. “

http://tgchan.com/featured/hug-a-rock-tgchan.html

 

Photography Prints

 

 

” Swarm ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + Samyang 10mm F2.8 )

” Foaming dark blue and white sky, flowing like a mad river… Right beneath it, a swarm of human civilization pushing the nature out of its own place. I stand there, on the tenth floor and look at the city from above… It looks like a tiny part of a snow globe… who is shaking the toy though? We cover, once green fields of greenery, with synthetic structures of our own… spreading like a bad disease. What is the purpose of human race? Are we really the parasites of this planet? Who programmed us and why? Are we some kind of an experiment that rapidly spun out of control? Or maybe… we are doing exactly what we were supposed to do? Controlled, like mindless puppets… “

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/swarm-tgchan.html

 

Photography Prints

” Miss Yellow ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + SMC Pentax-DA 50mm F1.8 )

” Oh my gosh! Look at her! This is Miss Yellow! I can’t believe it! Oh my god! She is so beautiful! What I would give, to be with such princess… She is so cute, I would love to hug her, kiss her… I would never let her go… The most innocent and sweetest beauty I have ever seen… I love to look deep into your eyes, even though they do not see me the way I see you… I adore being close to you, even though you are not looking for my touch… I want to tell your so many things, share every smile and happiness in your presence… Why oh why, have our paths crossed together, if I cannot be with you? Every moment spent next to you, is unbearable torment for my soul, not being able to express the love I have for you… However, at the same time, I am unbelievably overjoyed, that at least… I can be there, within reach of your sight… “

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/miss-yellow-tgchan.html

 

Art Prints

” Shift ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + Samyang 10mm F2.8 )

” The moment when the sun becomes stronger, and snow changes into water… The time, when the bright sun rays reach the darkest and coldest places… Shift, it is time to wake up, rise and start living again. Happy shadows, rejoicing and dancing… trees, stretching and bending their long stagnated branches, warm wind hopping around, from place to place, like a young puppy. Everyone is waiting, nobody is hurrying anyone… When will it come? How long will it last? Will it clean everything in one go, or will it need some more time? Everybody awaits it, they can’t wait to embrace it… the first rain. The great big reset button, that will start the life cycle once again… “

 

Photography Prints

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/shift-tgchan.html