” Groups Of Understanding ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

A group of people here. A group of people there. You can rarely see somebody alone. And even if you do, there is a great chance they are just going to meet somebody. People are definitely not meant to live alone. So what gives that some people can’t imagine life without bunch of random friends around them whilst others can’t imagine being amongst almost anyone? I believe it is a matter of personality and its complexity. People without the greater depth are more likely to find someone similar to them than people whose nature is rather complex. If you are not on the same page as others, there is a good chance you will not be liked or enjoy the company of those people, probably both. Being alone is not a fate though. It is a choice you make. Of course some people have it much harder to find somebody similar to themselves, if they live in a small town or village for example. It is a matter of time and determination though, so if you really want to find some friend with whom you could share your weirdness, don’t lose hope; it is by all means possible. So going further down this road I’ve tried to answer my own question: why am I alone? I’ve come to a conclusion there is no single reason behind it, rather a combination of a few. The biggest one would be; it’s my choice. My complexity is beyond a chance to find anyone on the same page. The best case scenario for me is to find someone in the same book. My requirements and expectations are similar to my dreams, they’re almost unreal to reach. I don’t even clearly remember how it feels to be around a bunch of good friends any more. I used to have that in the time of my childhood and it was great, but… There’s just too much going on in my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. So yea… it is my choice. It is nice to know there are people who would take their time and try to understand me though, I know they’re out there. Thank you for being and sorry for my isolation.

tgchan.com

 

THE PAGE WILL EXPIRE SOON – if you would like to stay connected https://www.facebook.com/thetgchan is a way to go

 

 

” Prisoners ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Do you believe your mind is free? Can you really do what you want in life? Sometimes it feels like my head is going to explode any second… I cannot stop thinking, analysing, calculating odds, looking for patterns and explanations. The train of thoughts is speeding through my mind, leaving nothing but a chaos and disorder behind. I am trying to focus and catch at least one wagon, something I could start with… but they all go so fast, so many of them… I am just standing there and looking at them how they keep passing me by, flickering in front of my eyes, leaving only bits behind… I am trying to pick them up and make sense of it, but it is just not enough. So I stand up and keep looking at them again, hoping that some bigger chunk will fall out eventually, something that will help me understand. How can you break free from a prison that you cannot see or touch? …but you can still feel it, and you know it’s there, real… like anything else you are experiencing in the physical world. The prison that nobody else can help you out from. The place that exist only in your mind, yet… so sophisticated and efficient at keeping you away from being truly alive. I have managed to escape from a typical life. Nothing really have me in its grip. Money, love, career etc. I am beyond the great scheme. I have walked out of the life’s blueprint just to find out, there is nothing out there. I look at it, far away from a distance, in darkness. I can see how it works… People like ants, constantly busy with their little lives… somehow I still envy them. I have been running away from it for so long… now I wish I would never had, I think. How can I go back? Is it even possible? Can I forget what I have seen and know? Do I even really want it? It looks like ignorance is bliss. I have escaped one prison… just to lock myself up in another one. Good job, Chan. You really made it worthwhile… Okay, since going back is not a real option… How can I turn it to my advantage? Why am I having such a problem with exploiting what I know? Why do I want to be a good guy? Am I the good guy? Who are those people? Is it me? Does each one of them represent a possible life I have locked myself away from? I am scared to look left and see how many times I have done that… I am even more frightened to look right, and see how many more times I will do it again… Wait… do I see the light there? “

tgchan.com

” Bandage Man ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 77mm F1.8 Limited )

Original Street Artist: Anna Matuszewska in association with Galeria Sztuki 58, Radom.

” A face full of scars, eyes filled with tears and a heart shattered by thousands of unfulfilled and broken dreams… Still looking up, still… searching for light. Another dream, another failure… pain… another scar to patch up. Living deep down, below in darkness, almost at the bottom… not low enough to bounce back and regain control, drifting… A soul so battered and ripped apart, it scares with all the hollows, echoes and ever-tearing stitches. Tears changing into pus, life shifting gracefully into a coma… a blissful lethargy, slowly taking everything away. There’s no fight, not anymore, only compliance. Awakening, again. Another vision, another hope. Looking in the mirror, still deformed… unsightly. Nothing has changed, nothing ever does… Euphoria, enlightenment, hope, happiness, enchantment, love… Taking a razor blade, a short glance at a shiny frail piece of steel, time to fail once again. Cutting the soft flesh of own face… warm red liquid covers all. Look, another broken dream… another chance for a new life, another distraction, another mark. A white cloth takes a place of a fresh and swollen wound, I can still feel… I can still dream. What have I become… Will I ever succeed, and start living before I am finally gone… ? “

 

Photography Prints

 

 http://tgchan.com/featured/bandage-man-tgchan.html

 

” Changes ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + HD Pentax-DA 35mm F2.8 Limited Macro )

” Changes… even when they are bad, they are still good. It is something we need in order to evolve, learn and be. It doesn’t matter if we are the ones making them, the life goes on, and it constantly morphs into something new. There are no permanent things. Something that was blue once, might be yellow soon, just to change into green later on. We cannot expect to last forever, nothing ever does… All those changes give us a clear idea about one thing, there is something after death, and we don’t need any religion to tell us about it. Our lives have been changing with the very moment of our existence. We cannot escape it, nor avoid it… What we can, is to use it to our advantage, make the best of it. Nothing is ever lost, just like nothing is ever sure… “

 

Sell Art Online

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/changes-tgchan.html

 

” Breakthrough ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + HD Pentax-DA 35mm F2.8 Limited Macro )

” Sometimes, I have a feeling we are living on the different side of a glass. Busy with our lives, we cannot spot the glass which is in front of us. Our daily routines, successfully keep us occupied, blind, unaware. Some people are trying to see what is hiding behind all this, but even with a small hole, it is hard to see the big picture. What is the life trying to hide from us, why we are not able to see, what is really happening behind the curtain of lies. We know something isn’t right, but we cannot exactly point what it is. It feels like a dream, from which we cannot wake up. We can feel strings controlling us, yet we cannot see them. We try to get a grip with our lives, but someone else is trying to do the same and interrupt us. Should we try to smash the glass and see what is on the other side… or perhaps, we should go along with it, and see where it may lead us… One thing is sure, we are living inside of invisible walls, the prison we cannot see nor touch… “

 

Sell Art Online

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/breakthrough-tgchan.html

 

” Disconnected ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + HD Pentax-DA 35mm F2.8 Limited Macro )

” It feels like everyone is going in the same line, doing things because people expect them to do it, acting in a way they are supposed to… why? The longer I think about it, the more scary reality I unravel. People are selfish, they expect you to behave in a nice and given manner, totally ignoring your own reality and predispositions, not to mention problems. Once they find out, that you refuse to dance to their music, they start treating you like their enemy, like you would have done something bad to them. Why? You only wanted to be respected, why do they have to bring their chaos into your life, why don’t they think about you; how you may feel about certain things. No, I am not like you or the majority of people. If you are going to talk to me, do it in a way, where I actually mean something, have an option and my choice is respected. I am sick tired of seeing everyone around, acting like a mindless bag of meat… Yeah, go on… Call me antisocial, rude, weird or whatever… it doesn’t matter, your rules do not apply to me. I am disconnected. “

 

Photography Prints

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/disconnected-tgchan.html

 

 

The music I have been listening to, while writing and developing the photograph: