” Spiky Greens ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

I always knew… I have always known what I want in life… I was sure and confident about it as well… I don’t know what happened, I mean I know… but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it’s true, and I don’t know the way out of it now… I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all… I have triggered the bomb, and I don’t know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known… Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don’t know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well… All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don’t know any more… I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life…

Art Prints

” Mystery Continues ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

” So, the mystery continues… I am still trying to figure out what’s so special about those blocks of flats to me. I think it comes from my childhood. See, I didn’t use to go out a lot when I was a kid. I was basically living my whole life in my beloved flat most of the time, and I really liked it. I was enjoying outside activities at my grandparents at the weekends, but that was it. Five days a week, I was sitting at my home playing games, watching telly and playing with my toys, all the time (except for when I had to go out to school, obviously; which I wasn’t really fond of…). I totally loved my childhood, by the way. Hah~!! I was just reading it over out loud and I realised that my current adult life resembles the one from my childhood almost identically… wow… It looks I haven’t moved in life at all… Anyway, I was spending my life in tight enclosed spaces most of the time, so this might be one of the reasons. The second one I have figured out is probably connected with my lone style of life. See, I don’t have many friends you know. To tell the truth, I don’t have any at the moment. I had two best friends a long time ago, but they are… out there in the world somewhere now. So I think, I really enjoy being around people, even though I don’t like 98% of them. I am leading a solitary boring life, so it makes me feel nice being in places where life just lives the normal way, you know? I am pretty sure it all adds up to itself. Childhood nostalgia, loneliness, love of being outside, taking something back as a souvenir and probably so much more… All that is the reason why I enjoy doing what I do so much, and it explains a lot why I am being so attracted to those places… I feel like I am at home, even though the real one is far far away sometimes. I feel I belong between those tall buildings (inside and on top of them too!). It’s a truly magical experience for me every time I go out there. I just wish I had someone to share those moments with… Just that one person I could take with me and get lost in time… “

Art Prints

” Handsome Fellow ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” A Handsome Fellow waiting for his new girl outside her home. This is the first time they are going to see each other in person. They have known each other for more than a year but they have never met in real life before. He is very calm on the outside but a little bit stressed on the inside. He wants to make a nice first impression after all. It is somewhat funny. They both know exactly who they are going to meet, but it is still so exciting and somehow enigmatic. He has an intention of making this meeting a very special one. A highly sophisticated list of things to do together is charmingly troubling his soft mind. He wasn’t too nice for her many times in past. Not that he didn’t like her, but to keep distance and to keep his head clear. After so much wasted time, so many nice opportunities missed, he finally decided to gave it a shot. Despite all the negative things and the lack of mutual interests, he can’t be sure that she is not meant for him. She’s won. She will finally learn the truth the hard way. It should be such a nice journey, the weather is just right. Not too hot, not too cold. Wind present, but not pushy. And clouds… the clouds are surely magnificent today; big, heavy and so billowy… just the way he loves them. He’s afraid. He’s frightened to the bone of not being good enough once again. He’s scared of wasting what’s left of his emotions on the wrong person. How can she be the right one? She looks okay, she’s quite smart too, but what about some crucial things like passion, mutual things they would both like. There are literally no things that would hold them together except for fucking… and that… you can find just anywhere… Oh dear… he’s hesitating again. Torn apart between what he thinks is right and what if he is mistaken… He needs that hug so much, but what if it is just another trap… What if it will only hurt him and force to leave another piece of his heart in the wrong place… He whispers: ” She isn’t real, I can’t make her real… ” He turns around and walks away, repeating ” She isn’t real, there’s no one for me here… ” “

Art Prints

 

” One Of Many ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” It is mind-boggling… We are living in a linear story, somewhat trapped in it, but we also have the ability to change almost anything we want, at any point and to any extent. Why do we choose to stay passive instead of creating a reality where we could be much happier? What is it that makes us stick with secure but mediocre zone, instead of going a little crazy and improve things we are not happy about? I can flip my life over 180 degrees in a matter of hours, maybe even minutes, but I choose not to… remaining in the very same and boring place… Why? Sometimes I have got this feeling, it’s so real and so vivid that it almost feels like someone else’s memory… Sometimes, I can sense a different life… A warm alternative to what I am currently living. It feels like I am almost there… Like I am going to switch to it any second now, but after a very brief moment… it’s gone. The possibilities seems to be endless. Are we living in one of many parallel universes? Can we truly modify the life we are currently living? Or is rigidly programmed, where our possibilities are limited to only what had been previously written? I know so much… Why can’t I take any advantage of it… I must get out of here… I have to learn the way of… Choice. The problem is choice. “

Art Prints

” I Miss You ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know where you are… I don’t even know how you look like… but I miss you… I miss being with you so much… I know you are out there… somewhere… and I am scared… I am so damn scared that we may never have a chance to meet each other. It’s unsettling… Have we already met? Is life playing with us? I can feel, you might be my key to everything. I miss you… I yearn for you… but I don’t even know if I could really live with you… Maybe this is why we have not met each other… maybe I am just not ready yet. Doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you, and I really miss you. One thing I am certain though… If I am not able to give you what is required for your long term happiness… I would rather never see you. I do not want to be your disappointment. I would rather chase a ghost my entire life, rather than being with you, and knowing that I cannot change your life for the better. My inner self is torn apart… I don’t even know what I want any more. I mean, I know… but I also know that the things I want come at price. Actually no… they may come at certain price with the wrong kind of girl, but theoretically speaking, not with you. This is why I want YOU~!! and no one else. I am tired… it’s late. I have to go sleep. I really can’t wait for our first journey… a long drive, hours of walking and exploring, looking at the beautiful world shining in the sun, a delicate breeze… It can’t be just dreams… it feels too real, too vivid and too close… Good night my love, wherever you are… “

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” New Year Same Year Every Year ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I am not gonna lie… I love a New Year’s Eve. I even love it every year. I also hate it, exactly as much as I love it, when the last visible firework fade away in the darkness of night… The short period between two weeks before Christmas and New Year’s Eve, must be my favourite time in a whole year. The energy and the positive aura is amazing. I love to feel that moment when everyone is so focused on their life; preparation, presents, stress and everything else. It feels like everything around me is going at least three times faster than normal, and I just love to observe it from the perspective of my slow and derailed life… People seem to be different at that time as well, I like them that way. The moment when the last firecracker finally disappears from the sky, is also the moment when I get that weird feeling that the clock has been just rested, and everyone is bound to get back to what they have been previously doing, all year round. Another year, another example that your own plans mean nothing to the plans that have been made for you. That night was supposed to be so special, other than all previous ones… Finally someone to share emotions with, a chance to start a new year like never before, but no… I guess it wasn’t meant for me. At least, not just yet. Once again, my life has been adjusted to the path I didn’t choose. Maybe this is what I wanted somewhere deep down… Maybe it saved me from something that wasn’t good for me… Oh well, at least I had a chance to capture this beautiful moment. “

Photography Prints

” Oranged ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” I am always curious of the setting of the sun. Sometimes, it gives you a wild spectrum of weird colours across the sky. Sometimes, it can even make everything around you look like it’s out of this planet. I was lucky enough to witness it a couple of times myself. It is a truly magnificent experience. Everything you look at, is drowned in colours that should not be there. They are unique, magical and makes your jaw drop with awe. Suddenly, you feel like you are somewhere else… like it’s not your planet any more, or the world is ending. Unfortunately, it lasts only minutes, and the sun is gone a short while after… taking this breathtaking visual effect with its departure. The photograph you are looking at, is the beginning of one of those moments. At that time, I didn’t know about it. I thought it’s just a nice sunset, that’s all. So when I shot what I wanted, and I saw the sun getting behind the horizon taking most of the available light with it, I decided to go back home. At about the halfway of my way back, I noticed that colours around me are getting pretty weird. All pink, magenta and purple shades were dancing right in front of my eyes, making everything around me look bizarre. At that point, I realised that I am going to miss out this marvellous occurrence… even worse~!! I was going to miss it with the camera in my hands. I thought to myself; it’s not gonna happen~!! So I started to run, and run hard to the only place that could give me at least a slightest chance to capture this rare beauty of nature. As I was running along, I had those beautiful photographs I wanted to have so bad, right in front of my eyes… Did I get at least one of them? Well, we will see about it… the next weekend… “

Art Prints

” Juiced Out ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” Fruits, a close relatives of vegetables. When you think about the first ones, it’s hard not to think about the second, and the other way around. They are like yin and yang. Vegetables are still quite a mystery to me, but fruits, I believe I have them figured out. Do you know why they are so sweet, delicious and fun to eat? Well, their sole existence reason is to travel, spread across the lands and to guarantee survival of its species. Though, I still do not understand why and how fruits without pits, stones, pips and seeds work in general. I mean if they do not contain them, they kind of invalidate my theory and conception of their existence. Maybe they are only decoys, I don’t know. All seeds are designed to withstand stomach acid, in fact, it prepares them to begin a new life somewhere else once they are pooed out. This is why they look and taste so nice. They are meant to be seen from far, draw our attention with their bright colours, sweet taste and interesting looks. Vegetables on the other hand, well… they taste just okay, do not have vibrant colours; not that it matters a lot since most of them live underground any way, and they are just meh in general. So what do they have so special? Well, I like to call them vitamin bombs. The name itself is self-explanatory, so there is no need to write more about it. I don’t know their purpose of existence just yet, but I believe the nature had to balance them out somehow. Since they are not as attractive as fruits are, perhaps they are packed with lots of good things. I mean, this is what I believe, and it helps me greatly to enjoy eating them even more. Going back to fruit, I freaking love them after a hard physical training~!! There is nothing better to eat right after a gruesome workout. They are juicy, healthy, come with vitamins, and there is something primal and straightforward about it that I like a lot. Thank you for being fruits~!! “

Art Prints

” Unreal Dweller Box ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” I look at it and it feels unreal… I know it’s real. I stand right in front of it… I can touch it, lick it, interact with it in a hundred different ways, but it still looks like something painted just for my eyes. Is it the composition that pushes it into something too beautiful to be real, or is it the mixture of bright colours you don’t normally see in places like this? Perhaps both things. A simple block of flats, yet all my senses are tingling, telling me; this is it Chan, take out your camera and capture the living hell out of it before it’s too late. God damn it… I really love those buildings, you know… They contain so many lives, so much love, hate, happiness, problems and so much more… My second wish, if I ever had three of them, would be living in a different flat every few days/weeks/months. I would love to look at people’s life, be a part of their daily ups and downs, and when finally bored… just move into another one to experience something different, or the same, but with different people. They remind me of a chocolate box. You know what to expect more or less, but you will never know for sure, until you look inside of it. Every single window hides another secret. Every room filled with something different. Personal memories, preferences, echoes of shared moments and history. So many things to look at, even more to talk about. What a treasure box… “

Art Prints

http://tgchan.com/featured/unreal-dweller-box-tgchan.html

” Super Cosy Spot ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Not in direct sunlight but in shadows… not in complete darkness though, my sweet spot lies. Somewhere between those two… Somewhere close, so I can see the transition clearly and derive the best of both worlds. Once the light weakens, the shadow grows stronger, slowly devouring and conquering the lands that originally belonged to it. The war will be over soon enough, but the victory is not permanent, nothing ever is… What you take, must be eventually returned. The light still fights strong, bravely pushing darkness back to its black roots. Futile resistance, yet so noble and admirable. I stand there and observe two of the greatest powers duelling for domination, right in front of my eyes… Me, a mere mortal… and even though I know whose turn to win is this time, it’s still magnificent to be a witness of it. Besides, you can never be certain of anything. I can already feel the chills of darkness on my back, but my eyes are focused on warmth of the light in front of me. Beautiful… isn’t it? Now, the best thing is that I can start moving with the darkness, chasing the light and feel the power of the winner. If I choose to… I can step into the light, and start feeling the dread of annihilation, running away in fear. Everything changes… things once so obvious become mysterious. Familiar shapes start becoming unknown and ominous. Uncertainty… is it really the place where happiness dwells? Or is it the moment when you can choose between two things, but you have still not decided, draining positive energy from the both possible realities at the same time? You know you will have to decide what to choose eventually, losing one thing or another as a result of a decision, but you keep stalling the moment, enjoying the freedom of choice. Is it a freedom? Why do I have to choose? Can I choose not to choose? Where am I going with all this…? It doesn’t matter what hides underneath… Just enjoy it. The very same way, I have enjoyed being at my super cosy spot for that brief moment. “

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