” Spiky Greens ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

I always knew… I have always known what I want in life… I was sure and confident about it as well… I don’t know what happened, I mean I know… but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it’s true, and I don’t know the way out of it now… I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all… I have triggered the bomb, and I don’t know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known… Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don’t know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well… All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don’t know any more… I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life…

Art Prints

” I Miss You ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I don’t know where you are… I don’t even know how you look like… but I miss you… I miss being with you so much… I know you are out there… somewhere… and I am scared… I am so damn scared that we may never have a chance to meet each other. It’s unsettling… Have we already met? Is life playing with us? I can feel, you might be my key to everything. I miss you… I yearn for you… but I don’t even know if I could really live with you… Maybe this is why we have not met each other… maybe I am just not ready yet. Doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you, and I really miss you. One thing I am certain though… If I am not able to give you what is required for your long term happiness… I would rather never see you. I do not want to be your disappointment. I would rather chase a ghost my entire life, rather than being with you, and knowing that I cannot change your life for the better. My inner self is torn apart… I don’t even know what I want any more. I mean, I know… but I also know that the things I want come at price. Actually no… they may come at certain price with the wrong kind of girl, but theoretically speaking, not with you. This is why I want YOU~!! and no one else. I am tired… it’s late. I have to go sleep. I really can’t wait for our first journey… a long drive, hours of walking and exploring, looking at the beautiful world shining in the sun, a delicate breeze… It can’t be just dreams… it feels too real, too vivid and too close… Good night my love, wherever you are… “

tgchan.com

” New Year Same Year Every Year ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” I am not gonna lie… I love a New Year’s Eve. I even love it every year. I also hate it, exactly as much as I love it, when the last visible firework fade away in the darkness of night… The short period between two weeks before Christmas and New Year’s Eve, must be my favourite time in a whole year. The energy and the positive aura is amazing. I love to feel that moment when everyone is so focused on their life; preparation, presents, stress and everything else. It feels like everything around me is going at least three times faster than normal, and I just love to observe it from the perspective of my slow and derailed life… People seem to be different at that time as well, I like them that way. The moment when the last firecracker finally disappears from the sky, is also the moment when I get that weird feeling that the clock has been just rested, and everyone is bound to get back to what they have been previously doing, all year round. Another year, another example that your own plans mean nothing to the plans that have been made for you. That night was supposed to be so special, other than all previous ones… Finally someone to share emotions with, a chance to start a new year like never before, but no… I guess it wasn’t meant for me. At least, not just yet. Once again, my life has been adjusted to the path I didn’t choose. Maybe this is what I wanted somewhere deep down… Maybe it saved me from something that wasn’t good for me… Oh well, at least I had a chance to capture this beautiful moment. “

Photography Prints

” Juiced Out ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” Fruits, a close relatives of vegetables. When you think about the first ones, it’s hard not to think about the second, and the other way around. They are like yin and yang. Vegetables are still quite a mystery to me, but fruits, I believe I have them figured out. Do you know why they are so sweet, delicious and fun to eat? Well, their sole existence reason is to travel, spread across the lands and to guarantee survival of its species. Though, I still do not understand why and how fruits without pits, stones, pips and seeds work in general. I mean if they do not contain them, they kind of invalidate my theory and conception of their existence. Maybe they are only decoys, I don’t know. All seeds are designed to withstand stomach acid, in fact, it prepares them to begin a new life somewhere else once they are pooed out. This is why they look and taste so nice. They are meant to be seen from far, draw our attention with their bright colours, sweet taste and interesting looks. Vegetables on the other hand, well… they taste just okay, do not have vibrant colours; not that it matters a lot since most of them live underground any way, and they are just meh in general. So what do they have so special? Well, I like to call them vitamin bombs. The name itself is self-explanatory, so there is no need to write more about it. I don’t know their purpose of existence just yet, but I believe the nature had to balance them out somehow. Since they are not as attractive as fruits are, perhaps they are packed with lots of good things. I mean, this is what I believe, and it helps me greatly to enjoy eating them even more. Going back to fruit, I freaking love them after a hard physical training~!! There is nothing better to eat right after a gruesome workout. They are juicy, healthy, come with vitamins, and there is something primal and straightforward about it that I like a lot. Thank you for being fruits~!! “

Art Prints

” Block Of Cosiness ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Some people grow up in houses, other in blocks of flats, and some in neither… Just like with everything else in life, each one of us prefers different things. Some people value large spaces with high ceilings and plenty of room around. Others on the other hand, feel more comfortable in smaller and tighter areas. I myself grew up living in a flat. I have moved to a house with my parents, much later on. I like it. But if I will ever need to choose where I want to live alone, I am definitely going back to a block of flats. I really don’t know where all the magic aura is coming from, but I suspect it has something to do with my childhood and nostalgia. It’s just a good memories I think. Every time I walk in some city, I get automatically pulled closer to those buildings. It feels like… well, home I guess… I have found this place on my way back to the car. The light, colours, all those plants and flowers… Man oh man… This place was something else… ideal… I mean, actually I prefer them much taller, but to hell with it… just look at that place… How soothing it must be to sit on one of those benches and just listen to birds while looking at the blue sky… I know, you are probably thinking what’s a big deal with it? Well, every time I see such a beauty, I imagine having my own flat in one of those things I admire so much. My own small and super cosy nest, where I could lock myself up, and peak at the world from a safe distance… through a window of the internet. It would be such a joy to be surrounded by all those people and their families. Seeing children happily playing around, hearing loud neighbours living their busy life, smelling different scents of perfumes and cooked food while walking up and down a stairwell. It is quite amusing though, because I am type of a person that really likes to be alone most of the time, but I still love being around people a lot, weird. I had a hard time moving from that place. I really wanted to stay there and see how it looks like at different times of the day, months and even seasons… Even the sun showed me exactly where to stand in order to fully appreciate that moment and the glorious view. Ah… My fucking beauty!@ “

Photography Prints

” Unreal Dweller Box ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” I look at it and it feels unreal… I know it’s real. I stand right in front of it… I can touch it, lick it, interact with it in a hundred different ways, but it still looks like something painted just for my eyes. Is it the composition that pushes it into something too beautiful to be real, or is it the mixture of bright colours you don’t normally see in places like this? Perhaps both things. A simple block of flats, yet all my senses are tingling, telling me; this is it Chan, take out your camera and capture the living hell out of it before it’s too late. God damn it… I really love those buildings, you know… They contain so many lives, so much love, hate, happiness, problems and so much more… My second wish, if I ever had three of them, would be living in a different flat every few days/weeks/months. I would love to look at people’s life, be a part of their daily ups and downs, and when finally bored… just move into another one to experience something different, or the same, but with different people. They remind me of a chocolate box. You know what to expect more or less, but you will never know for sure, until you look inside of it. Every single window hides another secret. Every room filled with something different. Personal memories, preferences, echoes of shared moments and history. So many things to look at, even more to talk about. What a treasure box… “

Art Prints

http://tgchan.com/featured/unreal-dweller-box-tgchan.html

” Happiness Is The Sun ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Sun… so bright, so warm, so happy… Every time it goes down, I want to chase it, and don’t let it drown in horizon. The moment when it goes behind trees and buildings, I can feel the darkness grabbing my shoulders and pulling me down. Even so far away, it is still one of the most important things in our lives. Everything looks so alive and wonderful when it shines. It is not only the sun though. On its own, it is just a bright hot star. Our world in connection with the nature… Our bad with its good, all mixed up. This is what gives such fascinating spectacle. The sick combination of synthetic and natural world. Our human arrogance embedded in the place we do not deserve. There are so many different kinds of pleasure in life… Admiration for what surrounds us, must be one of the most satisfying one, and it doesn’t cost much. Look around, appreciate what you see, hear, feel and taste. Sun… it certainly can make ordinary places look like they come from a fairy tale, don’t you agree? “

Photography Prints

” Interstellar Suspension ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” The clouds froze right in front of my eyes, I could feel air getting thicker and thicker… My body started to feel like it was suspended in water. The change… I could feel it so clearly… Stars aligned, galaxies in a perfect harmony. That moment of an incredible slowdown… Like a bullet caught in a ballistic gelatine, everything stopped in a blink of an eye. What now? I didn’t care about anything… I just kept looking in the sky, trying to see things beyond the clouds. My poor human eyes… they were just not enough. I could still feel it though, not to mention being able to admire the beauty of an incredible display on our terrestrial end of the spectrum. I may not fully understand it, but I know how it affects me. I have walked out from the home sad, but now… I am oversaturated with happiness and joy. I still miss that soft hand I could grab when I need it, hug a soul… but for now… I am okay. So I thank the stars and everything that surrounds me, that I may be happy… even though I know, it is just for a short-lived while… “

Art Prints

” Wheels Of Happiness ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 77mm F1.8 Limited )

” I need that car… I need it now real bad… I have to quickly drive away from this world, before it alone will drive me mad. I need to go back to a place where I meant something, the air I was breathing in was not poison, and the life I was living had more than two colours available. I have got plenty of fuel for what I need, well refined from all the burnt dreams over the years. Will I have got enough courage to grab the steering wheel and control the course of my destination? I have to… That cannot be another wasted opportunity to finally go flat out with everything I have been holding back for so long… I can’t afford it, not any more… A colourful vehicle, a time machine from the better times, a vessel that may bring what has been once lost and left behind in the past… A hope? Maybe. So it’s there… hidden somewhere beneath the complexity of human subconscious, buried in thoughts of the present, surrounded by ugliness and decay of yesterday… but it’s there… and it’s waiting to be found. Don’t stop, not now, not tomorrow. You are closer than you may think. Look for the clues, remember what you have been always doing, what has always been a part of you. Do not abandon your instinct, it’s the only compass you can trust. Now, can I? The best things happened because I have ignored what you have been telling me, but again… They have also brought the worst things… Maybe… maybe you are right. Maybe I should have never abandoned you, maybe there is something meaningful at the end. All that pain and suffering can’t be for nothing, right? It has to have some kind of gratification to even things out. Maybe if I had listened to you before, I wouldn’t have been thinking in circles now… That stupid venomous mistake… what was I thinking… I should have never come out of my world. What the hell was I thinking… that I could be like others? That I could do things like everyone else does? Stupid… Forget it. Get the fucking car and be done with it, never stop afterwards. Not for anything, not for anyone. They can jump right in, but there will be no stops. You have been standing in one place long enough. “

tgchan.com

” Ladies In Red ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 77mm F1.8 Limited )

” Ah… Ladies in Red… Look at those beauties, such a fine specimen… So young and smooth… sunbathing in early warm summer rays of sunshine. There are so many… which one of them should I choose… or maybe I alone have been already chosen by one, who knows? How can I know for sure, which is a good choice for me? Should I pick the youngest? Perhaps I should choose the one that is the closest to me and within my reach? Am I being lazy and convenient here? I shall not ignore those far away, especially the one that keeps looking at me at all time. Who the hell am I to choose between those angels anyway!? Look at me… No past nor future whatsoever, a messy present and no idea about tomorrow, that’s all I’ve got to offer. So many liars, even more lies floating through my mind… Chaos, deception, laziness and betrayal from within… treacherous thoughts polluting and blurring vivid lines I have previously drawn so confidently, so true… Focus~! Stop looking at them all. There’s only one, look at her… she’s still fighting for you… or is she? What is she fighting for really? Fear… Is it an ambush or is it a genuine thing? Who on planet Earth is pulling who into a trap!? No, no, NO~! Stop with the negative thoughts again, focus~! Let’s go back to the beginning… where was I? Ah, beautiful Ladies in Red… so many of them, all beautiful and attractive… constantly tempting and enchanting. Those soft petals… good god~! Dancing so gracefully and moving like magic. Do we really have a choice here? Was it ever our decision to make? Is there a way out of it? Can I go back? Is it too late to undo everything that has been done? If I only knew… If I only fucking new… I would never ever lay my eyes on her. I would never let her waste her time on me. Why do I have to be her mistake, burden and disappointment… I’ve never wanted to, I didn’t know… I just couldn’t know… Look at them smiling at you… Are they already laughing? Everyone wants to be happy, feel special to someone, care and be cared about… Is it a game? Is it really just a bloody game…? I’m tired, confused and resigned… Sorry ladies, it looks like I’ve lost my way again… not to mention the appetite. Cheerio~! “

Art Prints

http://tgchan.com/featured/ladies-in-red-tgchan.html