” Groups Of Understanding ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

A group of people here. A group of people there. You can rarely see somebody alone. And even if you do, there is a great chance they are just going to meet somebody. People are definitely not meant to live alone. So what gives that some people can’t imagine life without bunch of random friends around them whilst others can’t imagine being amongst almost anyone? I believe it is a matter of personality and its complexity. People without the greater depth are more likely to find someone similar to them than people whose nature is rather complex. If you are not on the same page as others, there is a good chance you will not be liked or enjoy the company of those people, probably both. Being alone is not a fate though. It is a choice you make. Of course some people have it much harder to find somebody similar to themselves, if they live in a small town or village for example. It is a matter of time and determination though, so if you really want to find some friend with whom you could share your weirdness, don’t lose hope; it is by all means possible. So going further down this road I’ve tried to answer my own question: why am I alone? I’ve come to a conclusion there is no single reason behind it, rather a combination of a few. The biggest one would be; it’s my choice. My complexity is beyond a chance to find anyone on the same page. The best case scenario for me is to find someone in the same book. My requirements and expectations are similar to my dreams, they’re almost unreal to reach. I don’t even clearly remember how it feels to be around a bunch of good friends any more. I used to have that in the time of my childhood and it was great, but… There’s just too much going on in my head right now, I wouldn’t be able to focus. So yea… it is my choice. It is nice to know there are people who would take their time and try to understand me though, I know they’re out there. Thank you for being and sorry for my isolation.

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” Spiky Greens ” by tgchan ( Sony A6500 + Sony Zeiss 24mm f/1.8 )

I always knew… I have always known what I want in life… I was sure and confident about it as well… I don’t know what happened, I mean I know… but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it’s true, and I don’t know the way out of it now… I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all… I have triggered the bomb, and I don’t know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known… Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don’t know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well… All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don’t know any more… I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life…

Art Prints

” Dusty Hill ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” I saw that hill before… Unfortunately at that time I was unable to climb it and check what is there that’s hiding from me. I kept looking at it from down below with great curiosity. I knew I would come back here and find out what’s on top of it one day; it was just a matter of time. Not so long after, a few months perhaps, there I was… standing again and looking at it… The pros and cons running through my mind… The decision is made. I am going up. I crossed the road and started climbing it. It’s much higher than I thought it was. I started running. I want it now. I want to see what’s on top of it and I don’t want to wait any longer. I am getting tired. It is much much higher than it looks like from back down. And that wind… the higher I climb the stronger it gets. I start running again. My body produces tremendous amount of heat. I can feel my legs getting all swollen up from all the blood being pumped to muscles. I am walking and sweating. I can feel wind piercing my body. Will I get ill afterwards? Will the wind get me? I run again. My jeans are so tight they will burst any minute now. I keep wondering; how is it possible that my legs got so fat so quick. It feels like they have been hiding their real potential from me. The moment I checked the jeans on my thighs was also the moment I noticed all the mud around me. The soil was wet. What the hell… It was so dry back down. There’s an endless field on my left and right. The only thing that separates me from all this muddy hell is a very narrow path of grass I have been running up the hill. Unfortunately I have also found out that I am not safe even here… With every step I was taking, a big cloud of dirty muddy dust was arising from the grass… I was trapped. I was somewhere in the middle of my way to the top… my boots and the lower part of jeans were dirty, grey and white from all that dust I have been kicking around for the last couple of minutes… The moment of great regret grasped me hard and squeezed painfully. Stupid… so stupid; I thought. Who in their right minds would run up some big ass hill just to find out the view… I was seriously thinking of making my way back down, but what was the point? I would have to go back the same way and giving up now didn’t make any sense. I started running up again, occasionally looking down, only to find out how it hurts my soul seeing all that dust flying on my boots and jeans… Finally I reached the top… There was nothing there… The hill was just flat… and behind it… there was just mud… endless fields of mud… I remembered that one tree I had seen from back down. I decided to meet it in person… Unfortunately, the only way to it, was through the mud… It felt like walking through a minefield. I was scared that my next step will be tragic and my boot will get swallowed or something… After short but utterly stressful and careful walk, I reached the tree… We talked for a while… it was nice. I remember running down as quickly as I could just to have the dusty path behind me. I wasn’t happy back then, but now… when I look at my friend from the hill… You tell me, if it was worth it or not… “

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” Four Brothers ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-F 50mm F2.8 Macro )

” Four Brothers have finally come together… It has been decades since they have all met. They all came up from the same parents. They all grew up together. Unfortunately, life have divided their lives and spread them across the globe. Busy with their careers, work and other activities, they rarely even had time to talk to each other. All is past now though… They’re together, close, united once again. So much to share, so much to talk about, get up to speed, make up for all those years of not caring. They have missed each other so much… It is so unfortunate that such sad event had to be the reason for their meeting. Their beloved parents… gone, forever and ever echoing in their painfully shattered minds. They are all sitting silently together now, watching the sun going down and down. It’s nice… Everything has been taken care of, everything has been done. They can finally relax, and slowly learn how to let this go… It’s warm and cosy. The sun is still giving so much warmth, even though it’s so low… It’s so warm and cosy… “

Art Prints

” The Touch Of A Woman ” by tgchan ( Canon EOS 70D + Canon EF-S 10-18mm f/4.5–5.6 IS STM )

” The Touch of a Woman… They are quite similar to cats, you know? They are both connoisseurs of comfort, but cats… well, they lack ability to create those warm and cosy places on their own. Women on the other hand, they are quite skilful with those things. A quick glance at some place, and you know there was a female presence around. It is really interesting. Women look for males who can give them security, and males look for females who can give them this special cosiness that their mother used to create for them. It all goes in circles. Why am I even surprised with this discovery… Everything in nature works like that. A big fucking wheel of correlation. All nice and tidy, items placed carefully and with a great thought. Colours are not random and everything must go with the rest of the surrounding. It gives me a headache… I like it, but I would never follow all those rules. I know how to create a super cosy place for myself, and I don’t need all this bullshit that this should suit that etc. I like it, I have it. Done. Simple as that. I wouldn’t give up something I like only because it doesn’t go well with the rest of the room or something, fuck that. Going back to the woman’s touch, I truly admire their commitment, and their sense of setting up things the way they do; most of the time anyways There is something special about it, not doubt. Even though, I don’t genuinely know exactly what it is. Must be some kind of womanly magic I guess. I have been trying to capture the beauty of my mother’s bedroom for quite a while now, but only recently, I think I have finally got it. Admire. “

tgchan.com

” Oranged ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA* 85mm F1.4 [IF] )

” I am always curious of the setting of the sun. Sometimes, it gives you a wild spectrum of weird colours across the sky. Sometimes, it can even make everything around you look like it’s out of this planet. I was lucky enough to witness it a couple of times myself. It is a truly magnificent experience. Everything you look at, is drowned in colours that should not be there. They are unique, magical and makes your jaw drop with awe. Suddenly, you feel like you are somewhere else… like it’s not your planet any more, or the world is ending. Unfortunately, it lasts only minutes, and the sun is gone a short while after… taking this breathtaking visual effect with its departure. The photograph you are looking at, is the beginning of one of those moments. At that time, I didn’t know about it. I thought it’s just a nice sunset, that’s all. So when I shot what I wanted, and I saw the sun getting behind the horizon taking most of the available light with it, I decided to go back home. At about the halfway of my way back, I noticed that colours around me are getting pretty weird. All pink, magenta and purple shades were dancing right in front of my eyes, making everything around me look bizarre. At that point, I realised that I am going to miss out this marvellous occurrence… even worse~!! I was going to miss it with the camera in my hands. I thought to myself; it’s not gonna happen~!! So I started to run, and run hard to the only place that could give me at least a slightest chance to capture this rare beauty of nature. As I was running along, I had those beautiful photographs I wanted to have so bad, right in front of my eyes… Did I get at least one of them? Well, we will see about it… the next weekend… “

Art Prints

” Just Another Oh Rama ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” Just another casual day… just another rama… Mr Oh Rama Panorama. Yup, it truly is as cool as it looks. A giant boob you can climb on and look at the city from above. Eh… I wish I could be there now. I would lie down on the grass and look at those lazy white clouds flying by… It is magnificent. You know it, I know it. Nobody can deny it. I just wish I could see some giant elfish trees growing out from the centre of the city. It would be awesome. Damn… now this is the place and time where photo manipulation could come handy. You can’t have it all I guess + it wouldn’t be a photograph any more. I returned to this place later that day, hopefully to capture a beautiful sundown… Unfortunately, some low ass clouds had their own plans, and they have ruined the show by blocking everything that was supposed to be interesting. I guess it was not my day nor the time for me to capture it properly. I really enjoyed that journey. Even though I started it with getting a ticket for doing some crazy and totally unnecessary shit on the road, being still on the premises of my own city… I really thought this incident will jinx everything that day… But I have fought my mind furiously to stay positive and still drain happiness from the trip. Despite a bad start and 400km drive… I really loved it. I just wish I could bring some more photographs from that city… But hey… I guess this is all what I was meant to bring home with me, and I am grateful I have not returned empty-handed. “

Photography Prints

” Happiness Is The Sun ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + Samyang 8mm F3.5 Fisheye CS II )

” Sun… so bright, so warm, so happy… Every time it goes down, I want to chase it, and don’t let it drown in horizon. The moment when it goes behind trees and buildings, I can feel the darkness grabbing my shoulders and pulling me down. Even so far away, it is still one of the most important things in our lives. Everything looks so alive and wonderful when it shines. It is not only the sun though. On its own, it is just a bright hot star. Our world in connection with the nature… Our bad with its good, all mixed up. This is what gives such fascinating spectacle. The sick combination of synthetic and natural world. Our human arrogance embedded in the place we do not deserve. There are so many different kinds of pleasure in life… Admiration for what surrounds us, must be one of the most satisfying one, and it doesn’t cost much. Look around, appreciate what you see, hear, feel and taste. Sun… it certainly can make ordinary places look like they come from a fairy tale, don’t you agree? “

Photography Prints

” Faceless ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-5 II s + SMC Pentax-FA 77mm F1.8 Limited )

” Faceless Angels walking down the face of earth… like a wind, passing transparently between souls lost and broken. They judge, analyse, take and give. You may never know when you meet one of those wretched creations, once of a heavenly descent. Ruined, knocked off, shattered, disgraced… and finally cast away. Forever trapped between the worlds of eternal flame and clouds, unwanted… thrown away. Evermore imprisoned in wander without a destination. Enslaved in order to do things no other great being wish to do. Pulling down those who ascent way to fast, giving a boost to those of critical need. All this and many more demeaning deeds, constantly surrounded by ever rotting flesh, dirt and filth of mankind that multiplies like a disease. The face that haunts, the hands that scrape and the mossy breath… insides filled with nothing, programmed for indifference and apathy, perpetually impassive. It’s not here to help you, it’s not there to hinder… It’s not your friend nor the enemy… Balance, it’s the only thing of its interest. My Fair Stone Wingless Lady, have you finally come to raise me… or you’re here to crush me, and put me out of my misery… “

Art Prints

http://tgchan.com/featured/faceless-tgchan.html

” Happiness In Duvet ” by tgchan ( Pentax K-50 + SMC Pentax-FA 31mm F1.8 AL Limited )

” I was on my way back home. My legs had already given up on me a long time ago. The pain was unbearable and I was barely able to walk, but even then… I just couldn’t take the shortest way home. I had to check what’s hiding behind all those different block of flats, schools and other buildings, twisting my route more and more. Finally, I saw it. There it was, hanging casually like something totally ordinary and normal. Happily jumping in all directions on a freezing winter wind. There was also a group of people nearby, and I hesitated… I came closer, looked at it… marvellous… Then, I thought it is ridiculous. I am not going to take photographs of someone’s duvet in front of some people… I walked away. After a few steps I stopped. No, I can’t. I came back, took my camera out and started taking photographs from all possible angles. After a month or two, when I have finally reached the photographs from that day… I just couldn’t believe it… All those colourful animals, the snow, the sun, even the wind… it’s all there, the magic has been captured. So much beauty and happiness, trapped in a tiny duvet… I can’t believe I have almost walked away from it… Trust your feelings, let your instinct guide you. Do not let second thoughts confuse you. If you are in search of what’s true and pure… Remember, the first thought is unfiltered, the purest and it comes from the deepest inside of you. Trust it… Follow it… “

Art Prints

 

http://tgchan.com/featured/happiness-in-duvet-tgchan.html